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Valentine’s Day Experiences

I believe with all of my heart that, love, in any form, is worth celebrating. A lot of people embrace the 14th day of February because it helps them remember their good and or, bad love experiences. Is the thought of this day worth remembering? Yes of course. Each memory of this day counts. However, your love, if it’s genuine, wouldn’t require a gift, or treat, or proposal, or attention to continue.

Love is love. – DBM

Graduate School

“Best Val’s experience was when I was in grad school and my professor gave me chocolates every Val’s day. Worst would simply be aside that, yeah, there has been no Val’s Day.” – From YK

Monday, 14th February, 2000

“My best Valentine’s experience would be when I asked my wife to marry me that Monday, 14th February, 2000. I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t sure about what I was doing. I wasn’t ready for what I was doing. I hadn’t even planned it. Seeing her that Monday evening only felt right to be married to her. I knew it was going to make her laugh too. I wanted to make her laugh. I wanted to see her laugh. The formal knowledge of wanting to keep her to myself, for good was good enough. My wife loves surprises, and I didn’t know what else to give her that Val’s Day. If I had asked her what she wanted, it wouldn’t have been a surprise. And I wanted to surprise her. Even after asking her to marry me, she wanted a bag and shoes as additional Valentine’s Day present. That brings me to my worst Valentine’s experience. My wife is my worst Val’s experience. She’s never content with any gift I give her. She’d always want something in addition. Though she appreciates my gestures, she’s always asking for more.

I love her. I do not like everything about her, but I love my wife. I have friends who would tell me to find a side-chick who would appreciate the little I’d do, but Dave, truth is, I fully have accepted all those traits about her that I know I find unloving. I have made that conscious effort to adore and cherish my wife, the mother of my children; those things I deeply love about her, while intentionally making the effort to let go of the thought of wanting to get her to change those things she does that drives me nuts.

She’s only human. I know what I can and cannot stomach. My wife isn’t perfect. I am not perfect, that’s why we are always honest with each other and are dearly that much in love, and content with ourselves enough to appreciate and accept what we can and cannot deal. My wife may never change, but I’m not bothered.” – From PA

13th of February, 2012

“He proposed marriage to me on the 12th of January, 2012. I told him I to wait for my response on the 14th of February, 2012, which was going to be a ‘Yes’ anyways, but he died on the 13th of February, 2012.” – From GB

Mr. Right

“I used to date this guy whose only expression of love was through sex. He did not like to talk about love. Or should I say – he did not know what to say about that subject. I’d want to believe he felt love for me because though we both moved on and are now married to different people, he still reaches out to me with his sense of humor and friendship. ‘He misses me’… That was his message to me today. He took very good care of me. He was willing to marry me, but got his wife pregnant while we were dating, and had to marry her – so she did not abort his pregnancy.

My best Valentine’s experience was with him. His sex, would blow your mind. He’s the only man who managed to make me always shed tears of joy and happiness, and endless pleasure during love making. He did it right! I call him, ‘Mr. Right’ even today. We dated for just two years, and our second and last Valentine, was my best. That day, he did not touch me. We did not talk about sex, though every reaction in his pants wanted me intimately. He asked about my day, cooked for me (I never knew he could cook because he always preferred my cooking or we ate out). He helped me structure my CV and cover letter (I was applying for my current job position), offered to clean my apartment, watched a movie with me, played scrabble with me and then, before falling asleep in his arms, whispered, “I love you” to my ears. He thought I was asleep, but I heard him loud and clear.

He had never said those words to me before. I cried. I also did not react for him to realize I had heard him. Those words coming from him felt like, he had taken his own life from his hands to give all of himself to me, for safekeeping. The tone of his voice that day was scary. I felt his trust for me that evening, and I was willing not to throw his love away. It is unfortunate things did not work out between us.

My worst Valentine is any other Valentine’s Day without his love in it. I love my husband, but Dave, you’re a very smart man… Read in-between my message to you and tell me what I am not actually saying to you.” – From AO

14th February, 2017

“My last Valentine’s Day present (2017) was a Car, and I was elated. At least, I could also pass rough roads to get to work early. With hubby’s consenting, I decided to take a loan with it to enable me start a side business, so hopefully I could quit corporate work soon as it blooms. Hmmm! Dave, he insisted on taking the money, thus the car was never a gift. Meanwhile he had taken the car I was already using for ‘repairs’ and I have not seen it till date. Long story shortened, I got to own the current car after divorce.” – From CMO

Plan ‘A’, Plan ‘B’

“Good evening Dave… For once I got to write something. Lol. On this worst or best Valentine’s Day experience, hmmmmm. You see, my mother used to tell me not to use my two eyes to look into one bottle. But as curious and adventurous as I am I decided to have a taste of it. While schooling at the premier polytechnic in Ghana, I had this lady. We had been dating for four years. I got to school before she later joined me on campus. Her life on campus begun to change towards me and I became of a less focus to her. I wished I was in a competition with her studies but no! It was with other men who had cars and motors.

Let me leave it here because your guess is as good as mine. So in an attempt to win back my love, one Val’s Day on campus, I got her a teddy bear, rose flowers and chocolate, just as the day demanded, and was willing to execute a beautiful dinner plan once she was done with lectures that evening. Dave, to my surprise my girlfriend walked straight to the back gate (only A-poly students will understand) and bought a black polythene bag and placed the gifts in. When I asked her why? Her only response was, ‘she didn’t want other guys to notice it’.

She also turned down my dinner invite. But Dave you know a man should always have a backup plan. My backup plan also failed, as she broke our relationship off on that night, with the excuse that, her Auntie asked her to go back to the ex-boyfriend. Whilst going back to campus from my failed backup plan, lo and behold, I met my girlfriend who turned down my dinner invitation with another guy going on a date. Since then, I have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day.” – From CEA

Goodbye Felicia!

“I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY FOR JUST ONE REASON: SHE ACCEPTED MY MARRIAGE PROPOSAL ON THAT 14TH FEBRUARY. THAT VERY DAWN, SHE HAD ACCEPTED TO DATE ANOTHER MAN. SHE HAD TOLD HIM, ‘Yes, I will want to be your girlfriend” VIA TEXT, AND HAD FORGOTTEN TO DELETE THE MESSAGE. I BROKE THINGS OFF THE FOLLOWING MORNING, PACKED ALL OF HER BELONGINGS OUTTA MY HOUSE AND BADE HER GOOD F**KING BYE.” – From AQ

14th February, 2013

“I was a very decent lady in my youth until it got to that time that I had to survive at the University, by hook or crook. My parents couldn’t afford the basics and no man was willing to assist me for free so I made a choice – to date that one guy who offered help, but with strings attached. Unfortunately, he was married. We started talking and connecting on phone, until it got to that time for us to meet on our first date.

He had booked a hotel room and was expecting me at a specific time. It was 14th February, 2013. I had a mid-semester examination that Thursday, so I got to the hotel very late. Secondly, there was so much traffic on the road, I just couldn’t have made it on time. I got to the venue, and his phone was off. I knew the room number. I got there, knocked, but no one responded. Apparently, his wife had tailed him that day, and was all over the place at the hotel with him, he had to run from embarrassment.

That money I used in chartering a Taxi to meet with him was the last amount on me. So I was meeting with him with the hope of returning with enough cash. I was confused because his phone was switched off. In my attempts to message him to know what was going on, I bumped into a stranger. My head hit his chest because I wasn’t looking on the road. He wasn’t looking on the road either. My phone crushed, thankfully, and I had a reason to blame someone for something to make money out of.

He was a gentleman. He apologized, took the blame, and then offered to have the phone fixed, after lunch with me. Dave, God works in mysterious ways. I was damn hungry. I hadn’t eaten the whole of that morning. He fed me, got the phone checked, gave me money for keeps, and then, took me to campus in his car. We exchanged phone numbers, and the rest has been a dream come true.

He knew I was there to see a married man. I told him the truth when we were having lunch. He did not judge me. He just laughed. I wasn’t unfriendly, nor evasive. I liked him. I made time to want to spend time with him when I was convinced he liked me too. It was after we had somewhat, connected, that I started to play the ‘hard-to-get’ attitude. I made myself less and less available to him. I was focused on my studies, actually, so that was a genuine excuse. But, it was an intentional act also. He hardly saw me. He cherished and wanted me more when it became very difficult for him to see me.

He was kind to me, Dave. He showed me so much kindness and love. He bought most of my study books, paid my hostel fees, gave me money for feeding, and a whole lot. He knew I didn’t have. He knew I needed help, and he helped me. I told my mother about him, and I remember she asked,

Adwoa, is he also in love with you?

I didn’t know. I knew he liked me, but I couldn’t tell of love. So Mummy suggested I looked him deep in the eyes, the next time we met. I gave him the sensation of being in love with him when we met again, and he looked deep into my eyes also for that long. My Mum was right, a man who does not love you wouldn’t allow you to stare that deep and long into him. The eye connects the soul indeed. We have been married for five years. We have two kids.”- From UJ

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