What features did you look for in your wife before settling on her? How important were those to you? Does a feature that a man wants in a woman make her any less of a woman if she lacks it? Does a man’s idea of an attractive lady makes the woman look any healthier or fertile? Let’s talk about the hips and waist: What’s in it? What’s behind a woman’s back? In which/what shape and size would qualify as a more satisfactory body ratio to a man’s sexual healing? – DBM 


KK: My wife’s boobs are bigger than her Ass

David Bondze (DB): What has that got to do with me?

KK: Nothing. It just bothers me.

DB: How so?

KK: It used to be the other way round.

DB: Maybe she’s losing weight.

KK: Maybe… But I want it the other way round.

DB: Which other way?

KK: Ass over boobs.

DB: Smfh!

KK: It’s that important to me.

DB: So tell her.

KK: Hmmm.

DB: It’s been nice chatting with you.

KK: I don’t want to look elsewhere for what I need.

DB: Why would you want to look elsewhere? She used to have it in its right proportion. She can get it back, anaa?

KK: When I touched it last night during sex, it was not as big as I used to see it in the day.

DB: How so?

KK: I don’t know how she does it. But it’s always big in the day, but was average yesterday evening.

DB: Okay, because I still don’t see the problem here. Were you two not having sex before marriage?

KK: No. We made the decision to wait after marriage.

DB: Okay! That’s cool.

KK: But she knows what I like. We used to talk about it a lot.

DB: And, what do you like?

KK: Big booty.

DB: You’re a mess. Is that what is going to give you eternal life?

KK: Why do you say that? Preferences, or?

DB: How long have you been married?

KK: We will be one day old today.

DB: Huh?

KK: We got married yesterday.

DB: Are you kidding me?

KK: It’s the truth.

DB: Why are we having this conversation? You are not even a day old in marriage?

KK: I’m not happy, Dave. I’ve been disturbed since yesterday evening.

DB: You must be kidding me!

KK: I’m serious.

DB: Where are you now?

KK: In my wife’s Church.

DB: Lol!

KK: What’s funny?

DB: And you’re chatting with me in Church?

KK: We closed about 30 minutes ago. I am in the washroom.

DB: Oh, boy! Smh!

KK: I was really looking forward to my honeymoon. I’m not excited about it anymore.

DB: Why did you marry her?

KK: I used to not even look at her after Church. She was just the ‘hey’ kind of friend. My attention was on a friend of hers who had everything I wanted in a woman. She was the reason I joined their Church. Her friend wasn’t interested in me so when I was about to change focus, my wife suddenly, started developing a lot of Ass. And, she caught my attention somehow. Something is not right!

DB: You’re not correct!

KK: Oh!

DB: What do you mean “Oh!”

KK: She’s in her Kente dress and the Ass is showing off so big in her dress. But what I touched and saw last night wasn’t this shape and size I am seeing in her dress.

DB: Boy, you just got married. Focus on what is important.

KK: What is important to me is what I am talking to you about.

DB: Make do with what you’re given.

KK: I don’t like it. I’m not happy.

DB: How old are you?

KK: 35

DB: Hmmm!

KK: Even my mother can see through me today. She asked if everything was alright with me. She knows me, and she saw how happy I was the whole of yesterday.

DB: What did you tell her?

KK: Nothing.

DB: And, how about your wife?

KK: What about her?

DB: Does she also see the change in your mood?

KK: I don’t know. She hasn’t asked. She’s happy we are married.

DB: Are you not happy to be married to her?

KK: I love my wife, but those things I am talking about were the important things that got me to be close to her in the first place.

DB: Well, you’re already married.

KK: I know that.

DB: Was the sex good?

KK: It would have been better if she had enough Ass.

DB: But your first sex was good?

KK: I don’t know. I am not happy.

DB: Has your wife enough sense of humor?

KK: Yes.

DB: Is she intelligent?

KK: She is.

DB: Is she kind?

KK: Very.

DB: How understanding is she as a person?

KK: She makes the effort to be understanding most times.

DB: Is she family oriented?

KK: Yes.

DB: And she’s good looking?

KK: She’s beautiful to me.

DB: Which of those qualities would you rank as most important in your relationship?

KK: I want a big booty with all those other qualities. I wish you could understand me, Dave.

DB: Well, I choose to pursue a relationship with someone who is nice-looking to me. Physical attractiveness is important, I know.

KK: My wife is attractive. I am just not happy about one thing. And I wanted that one thing in the whole package. I don’t know, Dave… I really do not know. It’s a basic need for me if this marriage is going to work out best for us.

DB: It’s really that important to you?

KK: It is.

DB: I’d wish you’d make the intentional effort to get to know your wife better: know her beyond her outward appearance. Get to like the best of her – and build that mutual respect needed for a commitment to work.

KK: Hmmm!

DB: Why “Hmmm”?

KK: It was nice talking to you.

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