What features did you look for in your wife before settling on her? How important were those to you? Does a feature that a man wants in a woman make her any less of a woman if she lacks it? Does a man’s idea of an attractive lady makes the woman look any healthier or fertile? Let’s talk about the hips and waist: What’s in it? What’s behind a woman’s back? In which/what shape and size would qualify as a more satisfactory body ratio to a man’s sexual healing? – DBM
KK: My wife’s boobs are bigger than her Ass
David Bondze (DB): What has that got to do with me?
KK: Nothing. It just bothers me.
DB: How so?
KK: It used to be the other way round.
DB: Maybe she’s losing weight.
KK: Maybe… But I want it the other way round.
DB: Which other way?
KK: Ass over boobs.
KK: It’s that important to me.
DB: So tell her.
DB: It’s been nice chatting with you.
KK: I don’t want to look elsewhere for what I need.
DB: Why would you want to look elsewhere? She used to have it in its right proportion. She can get it back, anaa?
KK: When I touched it last night during sex, it was not as big as I used to see it in the day.
DB: How so?
KK: I don’t know how she does it. But it’s always big in the day, but was average yesterday evening.
DB: Okay, because I still don’t see the problem here. Were you two not having sex before marriage?
KK: No. We made the decision to wait after marriage.
DB: Okay! That’s cool.
KK: But she knows what I like. We used to talk about it a lot.
DB: And, what do you like?
KK: Big booty.
DB: You’re a mess. Is that what is going to give you eternal life?
KK: Why do you say that? Preferences, or?
DB: How long have you been married?
KK: We will be one day old today.
KK: We got married yesterday.
DB: Are you kidding me?
KK: It’s the truth.
DB: Why are we having this conversation? You are not even a day old in marriage?
KK: I’m not happy, Dave. I’ve been disturbed since yesterday evening.
DB: You must be kidding me!
KK: I’m serious.
DB: Where are you now?
KK: In my wife’s Church.
KK: What’s funny?
DB: And you’re chatting with me in Church?
KK: We closed about 30 minutes ago. I am in the washroom.
DB: Oh, boy! Smh!
KK: I was really looking forward to my honeymoon. I’m not excited about it anymore.
DB: Why did you marry her?
KK: I used to not even look at her after Church. She was just the ‘hey’ kind of friend. My attention was on a friend of hers who had everything I wanted in a woman. She was the reason I joined their Church. Her friend wasn’t interested in me so when I was about to change focus, my wife suddenly, started developing a lot of Ass. And, she caught my attention somehow. Something is not right!
DB: You’re not correct!
DB: What do you mean “Oh!”
KK: She’s in her Kente dress and the Ass is showing off so big in her dress. But what I touched and saw last night wasn’t this shape and size I am seeing in her dress.
DB: Boy, you just got married. Focus on what is important.
KK: What is important to me is what I am talking to you about.
DB: Make do with what you’re given.
KK: I don’t like it. I’m not happy.
DB: How old are you?
KK: Even my mother can see through me today. She asked if everything was alright with me. She knows me, and she saw how happy I was the whole of yesterday.
DB: What did you tell her?
DB: And, how about your wife?
KK: What about her?
DB: Does she also see the change in your mood?
KK: I don’t know. She hasn’t asked. She’s happy we are married.
DB: Are you not happy to be married to her?
KK: I love my wife, but those things I am talking about were the important things that got me to be close to her in the first place.
DB: Well, you’re already married.
KK: I know that.
DB: Was the sex good?
KK: It would have been better if she had enough Ass.
DB: But your first sex was good?
KK: I don’t know. I am not happy.
DB: Has your wife enough sense of humor?
DB: Is she intelligent?
KK: She is.
DB: Is she kind?
DB: How understanding is she as a person?
KK: She makes the effort to be understanding most times.
DB: Is she family oriented?
DB: And she’s good looking?
KK: She’s beautiful to me.
DB: Which of those qualities would you rank as most important in your relationship?
KK: I want a big booty with all those other qualities. I wish you could understand me, Dave.
DB: Well, I choose to pursue a relationship with someone who is nice-looking to me. Physical attractiveness is important, I know.
KK: My wife is attractive. I am just not happy about one thing. And I wanted that one thing in the whole package. I don’t know, Dave… I really do not know. It’s a basic need for me if this marriage is going to work out best for us.
DB: It’s really that important to you?
KK: It is.
DB: I’d wish you’d make the intentional effort to get to know your wife better: know her beyond her outward appearance. Get to like the best of her – and build that mutual respect needed for a commitment to work.
DB: Why “Hmmm”?
KK: It was nice talking to you.