The Wheat from the chaff

His wife material was that easy to recognize: A lady who could pass the GHc 20 test at the shopping mall. A woman he could trust, like, love… A resourceful person with a kind heart. I did mention TRUST, didn’t I? And yes, she had to like him too, not what he looked like, not what he did for a living, not his financial status, not his connections… Who he is, just as he is.

And he found the exact woman he can laugh with. – DBM

“Hi David,

This is my proposal. My company has Two (2) stores/spaces at two different Malls in Accra. And I routinely attend to, and also engage clients – sometimes at the counter. I was single then, 38 years old, so I used that ‘work’ to also enjoy my view. Of course, I couldn’t tell which of the ladies were single, so I invented a strategy to separate the wheat from the chaff.

As a Christian man, I was looking not just for a woman I could trust, but a lady God could also trust. A woman my friends could trust. A woman my family would find trust in. A lady even strangers, could trust. I wanted someone honest, pure and trustworthy; someone I could rely on. A woman of her own word! I wasn’t perfect, but I am trustworthy. I guess that was why I was still single and searching back then – at that age.

My plan was simple: I would add an additional GHs 20 or 50 note to the change of any lady I found attractive, that would purchase any of our products and/services, and would intentionally turn around and act all busy while she crosschecked/counted the money/balance given her. I must put on record that, before putting an end to this rather generous, foolish gesture, I had given away over GHs 1700 to strange women, before meeting with my wife. I had a budget of GHs 2,000 to work with for that particular year, and then, I would stop and figure out a different approach to find a wife.

A lot of these ladies I put to test took my money away. Some had the guts to return to play on my, I presumed, in their heads, ‘dumbness’ – to make free money. Some insisted on wanting me particularly to be the one attending to them: because, in their dreams, obviously, ‘I didn’t know my math’s’. I mistook some of those that returned, also to be interested in me, and thought they had probably figured my intentions out – and had been coming back to make me look the fool. But, no! They were taking advantage of the freebies. Some, while checking and counting, would stop counting and quickly, place the monies in their bags/purses, the moment they spot the mistaken note, and would calmly walk out of the store, acting all innocent.

Six (6) months into the act, my wife came along with her boyfriend to patronize my shop. One of my guideline rules was not to engage any married woman or lady who visited in the company of a man. And I had stuck to that until I set my eyes on her. Something about the way she smiled wouldn’t allow me to stick to my rules. When they got to my stand, I included an extra note to his balance, and he quietly stashed them in his wallet after counting.

My wife’s facial expression changed, so she asked me about the cost of their expenses. She had totaled everything already in her head, before getting to the counter, and had seen how much her guy had pulled out of his wallet to make payment… Something didn’t add up to her.

Her man, probably seeing where her conversation could be going, changed the subject to get her to leave the shop. I saw them talking outside the shop, and my wife’s mannerisms looked like she was challenging him to something. I couldn’t hear a word, so I just watched them from the distance. Then I saw the guy pull out his wallet to show her how much money was in it. She wasn’t convinced, but she let things go. The following day, I reported at the other Mall to try my luck again. Different locations, different expectations. That was my belief.

Guess who showed up at the other mall?

She had gone back to the other mall to look for me, and when she was told I was at the other station, had driven all the way there to search for me; to return the GHs 20 she believed had been mistakenly added to her boyfriend’s money.

Dave, love is about character, which a lot of the time is revealed on the outside/actions of the person you think you care about. GHs 20 was nothing to me, probably nothing to her too, but she cared about my loss. I have dated people who I mistakenly wronged, and expected them to forgive me. Some claimed they had forgiven me, but figured other means to make me feel hurt and pain as an indirect retaliation for the past hurt. They never cared about me even though they made me believe they did.

My wife returning that stolen money was a big statement, not to be taken for granted. That single act of responsibility, was an inward quality I found beautiful there and then.

That’s where it all started for us. I insisted on a ‘Thank you’ lunch date (sort of) with her. We talked a lot. I got to know that guy was an Ex she was considering giving a second chance in her life, because he had begged for it. I asked if she still loved him, and she frankly said, “No!” but was willing to give it a try.

“Would you consider trying something totally new with me?” I asked

“Something new like what?” she replied, smiling

Matters of the heart can bring you to that place where, deep within, you know you need to do the right thing. Especially when it comes down to people we connect with, who our decisions could affect, one way or the other. I had a choice to make, and no one else knew this, except me and my God. I wanted to do the right thing, and the right thing was to open up to her about my intentions. I told her all about what I had been up to until she first visited my store.

“So, I passed your test?” she asked

I couldn’t stop smiling, because she wouldn’t stop smiling. I had tears in my eyes, Dave. She was so real to me. The joy in my heart, even though she hadn’t given or suggested anything to make me look forward to, was inexpressible. Right before she left the table (lunch date), she said to me,

“Then, I‘d have to have a talk with my Ex”

All that while she assumed I was the ‘counter guy’. I think she found me to be intriguing and funny (some humor to kill her boredom). Smh! We exchanged phone numbers, and the first WhatsApp message I received from her, days later, was,

“Yes, I will marry you”

Lol! ‘Would marry me?’ because my question wasn’t about marriage. I asked to just date. She quickly sent another message to clarify the wrong text:

“Eiiiiiiieeee! Lol! I meant, yes, I will date you. Lol! It was a mistake, so sorry.”

A single woman MISTAKENLY texting ‘MARRIAGE’? No! She wanted marriage. I didn’t need my Grandmother to teach me that. We spent a lot of time together, and I really, really, liked her. She is wise, very smart, and would always be giving me good advice.

Her intuition was strong. A few weeks after we had started taking each other serious, I realized she was the only person I was looking to all the time for sound advice. Her strength in character made her carry herself with so much confidence. She is hardworking, even though was an unemployed graduate then. She would come over to assist me at work, helped me with creative ideas that got business growing, little by little within months. I wasn’t paying her, neither had she requested for payment. She just loved to see work done.

On the fifth (5th) month of our dating, I asked her to work for me. She said, ‘No!’ She had been to two job interviews and was hopeful. She was comfortable volunteering.

She had left her phone on the counter to use the washroom in one of the days, and her phone wouldn’t stop vibrating. I answered the call, and it was from one of the companies she had gone on an interview with. She had gotten the job, and was being called officially. My joy knew no bounds. The caller was a lady, so I asked her if she could call back in about 30 minutes. I also asked for a favor: That after delivering the good news to my wife, if she could top up her excitement by telling her – I wanted to marry her. She smiled at my request without responding to it, and then hung up.

She returned from the washroom, and first thing she did was to look on her phone. She called the missed calls, and … the caller asked my question for me. I have never been this happier in life. I love my wife.

I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door.” – From WT

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