Reality had set in and they both had freaked out for a second. They distanced themselves for days to process the whole incident all over again, because it didn’t sound real. It wasn’t happening to them… Because they couldn’t have anticipated this outcome. And there was no other best case scenario. What would you have done should something as unexpected as this, happened to you? Could you have moved yourself away from the situation as they tried? Could you have been able to give yourself enough time to process all this information? Would you have been clouded by your feelings for each other? Would you have been able to make a better judgement call – after all was said and done? – DBM
It’s rather unfortunate my proposal story isn’t the type that would end with a ‘happily ever after…’ sentence but there was a proposal; that’s why I am sharing my story with you. I moved to Accra, from Tamale, to hustle, after my National Service. I was 23 years then. I did anything to earn some coins: from Kayaye, to cleaning Guest Houses, to washing household clothing, to being a house-help, until I met this adorable gentleman I am about to talk about.
I had a degree in Economics by the way.
So, I was the house-help for this lovely family at East Legon. The husband and wife were both very busy people, so I was the one practically, doing everything in the house, including, taking care of their Two (2) kids. The first child was celebrating her Sixth birthday, and because her parents loved them so much, threw a huge party for her at their home. So many people were invited: friends of their kids from school, a few mature guests who were friends of her parents, and the child’s grandparents. It was quite a celebration for a child.
I served this young man whose child schooled with my employer’s daughter, and he looked into my eyes. You know that look I am talking about, right? Yes, that look! But because I was busy serving the guests, I did not get confused by it. Dave, he is cute, so damn handsome – I couldn’t resist but to smile. I was surprised in a way because I never would have imagined a nice looking guy like him could find me also attractive. In that house, I wasn’t supposed to wear any make-ups or tight dresses. The wife of the home clearly spelt my ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ to me the very beginning of my employment. And according to her,
“A maid is not supposed to look pretty. You’re just a help, so you help in your plain self. No one in this house has time to admire your beauty.”
I realized he still was following my every move with his eyes at the party. Then I saw him talk to the husband of the house. He looked my way, and then smiled. A week after the party, the husband of the house surprised me with a mobile phone. It wasn’t from him. It was from ‘The Look’. Apparently, he asked for my contact number and got to know I didn’t have a phone, so he bought one to be given to me. His number was the only contact saved on the phone.
He called me late that evening, after he had returned home from work. Our first conversation was great; something to die for, actually! We would talk and text and talk and text and talk and text and talk and text … And talk and text! His sense of humor looked good on him. He would visit the home of my employers on weekends, with his child, just to see me. His child loved to play with the kids of my employers, so he used that opportunity to spend almost an entire weekend at their house. The wife of the house realized their friend liked me, and was jealous/pissed. I didn’t know what her problem was, but she seemed to have a problem with me.
‘The Look’ advised me one day to stop working for them, and then move in with him. I didn’t like the sound of it initially, because I loved those kids of my employers. But then, he needed me too, for himself, and his child. I had to choose between my happiness (Love) and the job. I chose love, and the husband of the house understood my decision. He was actually very happy for us. Three months after moving in with my guy, he helped me secure a good job. He also encouraged me to further my education, so I studied for my Masters. Everything was working out perfectly for me, Dave. I could send money to my mother and even cousins in Tamale.
One morning, I was helping his child dress up for school, when she asked her father whether the two of us were married. Her question stopped the both of us in our tracks. It was unexpected. Her father said, ‘No!’, and then she asked why we sleep in the same room together every evening, and make ‘painful’ noises almost every evening! I exclaimed! It wasn’t funny anymore. She had been hearing things, and even been telling her teachers and friends at school.
“Daddy, why have you not married Auntie Vida, if you like her?” she asked
He turned to look at me, and in the presence of his daughter, and asked me if I would marry him. It was a straight ‘Yes!’ A week after the marriage proposal, we decided to travel to see my mother and Uncles. The very moment my mother saw him, her smile faded. I wasn’t sure what was going on, so I asked. Then she said he looked familiar. I was doubting that, because it was his first time in Tamale, and my Mum hadn’t traveled out of the North before, so it couldn’t have been possible.
But she kept insisting he looked so familiar. One thing about my mother is, her guts is always right about something. She asked of his age, and then, shook her head. Something wasn’t adding up. Then she asked the name of his Dad. The name didn’t sound familiar to her either, so she insisted on seeing a photo of his dad.
I am a product of a few days night stand, between my mother and a stranger who visited our locality, decades ago. She found out she was pregnant, weeks after he had left Tamale. She never set eyes on him again. The father of this man I had been sleeping with just happened to be the very same person who impregnated my mother. My mother wanted confirmation of her suspicions, so she insisted he called to ask his Dad, whether or not he had once visited our community, over 25 years ago, to commission a project. My mother remembered the name of the project. His father confirmed being there at that said time – with a team, to commission the said project.
The reality was staring in our faces. I had been sleeping with my brother. That wasn’t even the worst part of it. I was three months pregnant for him. We have a kid together. We still stay in the same house, but are not sleeping together nor married. We just don’t know what to do. I have met my father; my mother has also met with him (She came to Accra to meet with him).
Because he has been married to his wife for the past 34 years, we did not include his wife. But, he knows what has happened between my brother and I.
Dave, every seed planted will have a ripple effect someday. We could see it in the present or a time not seen yet, but it will be seen. So let’s all be wise about where we plant our seeds. Let’s be very mindful of our actions and deeds.” – From VOA