Ever been torn between two very important decisions to make? Where you felt you were really that unsure about what to or not do? Can a man have that much clarity in a complication? What is that thing always underneath the mess of confusing thoughts that sometimes, dances on the surface of our focus? -DBM
HG: Dave, good afternoon.
David Bondze (DB): Hello! Good afternoon. How are you?
HG: Fine. You?
DB: I am doing alright, thanks.
HG: I told my wife about a girl I was attracted to.
DB: You did?
DB: Why is that?
HG: We promised to be open about these kinds of things.
DB: Good for you.
HG: She wanted me to have sex with her.
HG: I am serious.
DB: What was her reason for this suggestion?
HG: She claims she does not want to deny me of my cravings.
DB: I think I like her.
HG: You do?
DB: Kind of.
DB: Because she’s ‘crazy’. I like a little bit of crazy every now and then – to humor myself.
HG: But is what she suggested a good thing?
DB: No. I think your wife is already cheating on you.
HG: Oh, come on. No!
HG: She’s not like that.
HG: I introduced the lady friend to her and they became very good friends.
HG: She got pregnant.
DB: Your pregnancy?
DB: Your wife has kids?
HG: Yes, two.
HG: And the lady’s family suggested I married her traditionally.
DB: In addition to your wife?
DB: They know about your marital status?
HG: They do.
DB: I see. And, what did your wife say about all this?
HG: Nothing. She was in support, 100%.
DB: I’m surprised you don’t find what you are saying to me funny.
HG: It’s not funny.
DB: Ok. So, what happened next?
HG: I rented a place for her to put to bed first, and then, would have traditionally engaged her. That was my agreement with her family.
HG: I have a baby boy with her. But the lady died three days after childbirth.
DB: Were there any complications?
HG: No Dave, she was doing very fine. The doctor’s reports verified all this.
DB: So, what went wrong?
HG: Apparently, my wife paid her a visit, spent time with her and her mother. I did not even know about my wife’s visit, because she had been very busy with work that week. I had been very busy with work too.
DB: Are you drawing any conclusions?
HG: I’m not sure, but the lady’s mother is suspecting foul play.
DB: Your wife and mistress were friends, right?
HG: They were. Very good friends. She used to support her pregnancy with money, prayers and all… just to make life very comfortable for her and the pregnancy.
DB: I see. And your wife was the only person to have visited them that day?
HG: They are denying me access to the baby until I get my wife behind bars.
DB: For what crime?
HG: I don’t know. They think she is responsible.
DB: But her mother was also present in the house that day. They should not be looking at just one suspect.
HG: My wife has been crying since my baby-mama died, because she’s equally grieving.
DB: I see. Do you love your wife?
HG: I do, very much.
DB: So, why were you attracted to another person?
HG: She was pretty, nice body and all. And I liked talking to her. She made me laugh a lot.
DB: Your wife is not any of that?
HG: She is.
DB: So, why that other woman?
HG: She was my taste.
DB: I see. Who pursued the other first?
HG: I think I did.
DB: You think?
HG: What has one got to do with the other?
DB: Everything. What you seek should be/have been seeking you also.
HG: I liked her. It was as simple as that.
DB: And she liked you too.
DB: Now she’s dead. What are you going to do?
HG: Not sure, but I will bury her. All I want is my baby boy. My wife has only girls. This woman gave me a boy, and her family are preventing me from seeing my child.
HG: The only condition to be with son is to get my wife arrested.
DB: The police have spoken to your wife?
HG: Yes. Already taken her statement.
DB: I see
HG: Now they are claiming the child isn’t mine. Anything to get me away from my child.
DB: How do you know it’s yours?
HG: The child is mine.
HG: I don’t know what to do.
DB: I know what you can do: Forget the baby, concentrate on your wife and kids.
HG: That boy is my legitimate child. He is the heir to my inheritance.
DB: How about your girls?
HG: They are girls.
DB: I see. How old are you?
DB: And, how long have you been married?
HG: 13 years
DB: What is your wife capable of?
HG: Dave, it’s not her. She cannot even kill mosquitoes.
HG: I don’t know if it’s appropriate to sue them?
DB: Have you buried the lady?
DB: Bury her first.
HG: And then, what?
DB: I don’t know.
HG: My wife told me this morning to either forget about the child or choose between our marriage.
HG: I want that baby.
DB: Because it’s a boy?
HG: Yes, and also, because I had him with a woman I loved.
DB: Smh! How much did you love that other woman?
HG: I had so much love for her, Dave. A lot.
DB: And your wife knew?
HG: I think so.
DB: For how long had you known her?
HG: For some time.
DB: How much time?
DB: How many years?
HG: Dave, is that important?
HG: I was seeing her when my wife and I first met.
DB: And you married your wife?
HG: Yes. She got pregnant.
DB: As in, wife?
HG: It’s complicated, I know.
DB: Did your wife know about her existence then?
DB: I see. Were you sleeping with her prior to your ‘opening’ up to your wife?
DB: I see.
HG: What do you see?
DB: Never mind.
HG: I mind.
DB: You told me your wife suggested you slept with her… Making it all sound as if she encouraged it.
HG: This whole love thing makes everything so complicated.
DB: Nope! Love didn’t make things messy. You did that all on your own.
HG: I knew you were going to assume that.
DB: There’s nothing as complicated as the truth.
HG: Hmmm! Do you think my wife is being fair also giving me alternates?
DB: She’s your wife. She has the right to challenge your indecisions.
HG: We’ve always needed a son.
DB: You have always needed a son.
HG: I’m not letting this go.
DB: No one is asking you to.
HG: My wife is.
DB: Do you love your wife?
HG: Dave, you’ve already asked that.
DB: Oh, I have? And what was your response?
DB: Are you happy in your marriage?
HG: I don’t know.
HG: I want my son.
DB: Your wife wants her marriage with you back.
HG: My wife and I are still married.
HG: What do I do? Because I am hating the position I’m finding myself in right now.
DB: Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.