I met my wife when we were both in level 300 at the university. This is not to say that, I had not met anyone or dated anyone before her though she had not. I had already come out of a broken relationship. I made my intentions known to her and it took a whole year for her to accept my proposal although we were visiting each other and exchanging gifts. The delay in the acceptance of my proposal was because she was praying about it coupled with rumors on campus that I was a womanizer.
I must say that throughout this whole year before the acceptance of my proposal and being in the relationship for 5 years before marriage, all I could get was hugs and nothing more considering the fact that I was sexually active but she wasn’t. It was a hard nut to crack but some way, somehow I had no reservations and that was unlike me. I would have moved on. In fact I tried so hard to have her in bed but to no avail.
I started to make plans for marriage during the 5 years of our relationship and as such we both started saving towards this with our National Service allowances and our salaries after service. We were set for marriage before the fifth year of our relationship but our challenge was accommodation. I wanted a very spacious apartment like two bedroom self-contain but she said it wasn’t necessary as we only needed a place to lay our heads and that as we advance in life we can move into a more spacious apartment.
We opted for a single room self contain and the marriage came off in the fifth year. A year after the marriage, we had a child and we both felt the need to check out a bigger space. It is worth noting that our earlier decision we made for a single room self contain afforded us the opportunity to save for a chamber and hall self contain which we moved in after our first child. We felt the need to have our own car to facilitate our movement but my wife advised that our priority is to have our own place.
I must say I was going to get a loan for the car. I heeded to her advice and we saved towards getting our own place and I must say again that we will be moving into our new place after our second child who will be arriving soon. Dave, it has all not been a smooth journey and I can’t say we have arrived but we appreciate how far God had brought us. We have sacrificed a lot to make our marriage work and I believe that is all there is to consider as married people.
I really love my wife for all the sacrifices, the fact that she could leave a well paying corporate environment to become a teacher just to be able to close early to look after the children means a lot to me. It is worthy to note that she has her reservations on house helps. It is my prayer to make her more comfortable by getting us a car. She really deserves more that.
My advice to the youth is that marriage is all about sacrifice and you must learn how to compromise in certain situations to move forward. One must avoid the “I know my right” mantra if your partner is not abusing you in any way but mere quarrels that are inevitable in marriage.
Learn to resolve your differences because that friend you share all your marital issues with, wish to take your place. Above all, help one another especially men should help their wives with house chores, because you have no idea how that drains them coupled with taking care of the kids.