#TheProposal

She wore hot pink to her late husband’s funeral

He started his day that day with the perfect plan ever, and with the very best of intentions. And then, life happened. It was at that point that he got to know how he truly was faring. Have you ever been blindsided? Has something happened that you just did not see coming? Did the peace that surpasses all understanding come to you in your situation beyond your comprehension? Did it avow itself in your times and places where the unpredicted, unheralded, and the unwelcomed, meet you? – DBM

#TheProposal

“I was traveling to Akropong with my girlfriend to propose marriage to her. The choice of venue for the surprise was actually suggested by her mother. I was looking forward to the day and the effect it would have on my woman. Then everything went black, and bloody. My car had been hit on the side by another vehicle.

Before feeling the impact of the hit, I witnessed the driver and the passenger in the front seat, fly through the windshield, and landing onto the middle of Main Street. They did not have their seatbelts on. How the whole accident happened, I cannot tell but I certainly wasn’t the cause of it.

I tried tapping my girlfriend’s shoulder to be sure she was also okay, but she wouldn’t respond. It was her side of my car that was severely hit. Everything seemed and looked like a slow motion. I saw a few people trying to stop other moving vehicles, and at the same time, trying to make phone calls to whoever could come to our rescue. When it dawned on me that my woman could be dead, and, she was indeed, dead, I got frightened. When help did finally come our way, they pronounced her dead at the hospital. Those Two (2) other people from the car that hit mine were pronounced dead too.

I was on admission at the hospital for a couple of days. The hospital initially thought the other woman in the other man’s car was his wife, but then, they managed to get into contact with his wife – after she had tried calling his phone for days. Nurses’ gossip a lot in Ghana, so it wasn’t out of place when I got to know that, the young woman in that other man’s company had had a fresh abortion prior to her untimely death. She was rumored to be the ‘side-chick’ of the man, and his wife had had to find all that out after his demise.

I was contemplating on my own trauma, and probably, the trouble I could be in for the death of my girlfriend, when the wife of the man who hit my car visited the ward I was in at the hospital. That was the genesis of how I met my wife. Lol!

It wasn’t love at first sight! You know that already. We were both mourning. But for some reason, I felt so sorry for her. The rumors and the whisperings about the dead was silently loud for my liking. Everybody (hospital staff) was talking about it. I got to know, also that, the widow had been married for just Three (3) years, with a Six (6) months old son. She had found receipt of payment for an abortion in her late husband’s wallet. These and many more were the reasons why I couldn’t stop thinking/worrying about her.

I was grieving my dead girlfriend, but I couldn’t get this other lady and her predicament out of my head. I felt so sorry for her.

The police got involved, took my statement and then contacted the family of my girlfriend. The only good thing out of my tragedy, was the fact that, my late girlfriend’s family knew and approved of our relationship. They knew about the reason for that trip to Akropong, so I wasn’t so much in any trouble. We buried her peacefully, and was allowed to grieve in my little space.

I got a phone call from the widow, wanting to know if she could contribute anything towards the burial of my girlfriend, but we had already buried her, so I said, no! I asked whether hers had been buried too, but she said, no

That was the beginning of our informal way of checking on each other. She invited me to the funeral, and it was the weirdest scene I had ever seen. The widow arrived very late at the funeral grounds, and had missed her chance to read her tribute. She didn’t even write any in the brochure. That was the first awkward thing. The second hilariously obdurate moment was when she finally did arrive at the funeral. What attire is a widow, mourning her late husband, supposed to wear for his funeral?

She was in PINK… HOT Pink!

After the funeral and its drama, we started talking. A few months afterwards, we were officially dating. She wouldn’t wait for the One (1) year rule expected of widows to mourn their deads. We could relate to each other somehow. We kind of understood each other. And because of what we had bother been through, we tried very hard to keep whatever it was we felt for each other.

After the incident, we both were alone, so when we found each other, we thrived off of that closeness. When you’ve lost love before, you try with your all to ensure the new found love is kept in your confines, regardless of the many problems that may occur. Regardless of the fights and mistakes. Empathy and compassion was what was sustaining our relationship. We dutifully fed on it, because we both had experienced so much pain and sadness in our rather short, period of a time, so we could only hold on to just the two of us and our love for each other.

She made me feel loved and needed. Whenever she’s down, I’m her biggest cheerleader. Her son gave me more than enough reasons to be hopeful with his mother. I couldn’t forget the sight of his smiles and laughter whenever he saw me around his mom. Surprisingly, he wouldn’t cry the whole of the time I was around his mother. He wouldn’t want to be in his mother’s arms only. Not even his grandmother’s. He loved to play with me, and laugh with me. He made me forget all my fears.

I can’t remember if I ever proposed, but I do remember what informed my decision to marry my wife. Her son fell ill and wouldn’t stop crying. His temp went up to 104 or so, and because he was young and couldn’t tell what was hurting him, he could only resort to crying. I was at a meeting at work when she called me to the hospital. I left the meeting to attend to the little man. The moment I cuddled him in my arms, he stopped crying and began to laugh, and slightly cry… But the crying stopped! When the nurse called his name to see the specialist, he fell asleep, with tears in his eyes.

The doctor asked whether we were his parents, and before his mother could answer, this ‘Thing’ just woke up and then shouted,

“Dada!’

That, was the beginning of our family! Initially, I feared for us, for our possible future together, because we were both broken. It took LOVE, to encourage me to keep on believing she was worth pursuing and loving. Sometimes, being damaged together could also be the stoutest and greatest bond there is, and also, the most lasting and rewarding. Some risks, are worth taking. We married the following year. We are now a family of Four (4).” – From ATQ

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