#InboxMessages

She looks familiar

“I was in my worst and best moment. Worst in the sense that, I had broken up with my ex-boyfriend and was in a very bad disposition. Best moment in the sense that, I had met this stranger who was good at making me forget my misery. When I least expected or felt like I deserved to smile, he made me smile and laugh out loud. That night, I believed that every woman deserves a life changing moment in their moments.”SQ

#InboxMessages

“Hi Dave. I have a long story. Please pardon me. I was invited to dinner by a friend. I got there very early because I couldn’t trust the evening traffic in Accra. My friend hadn’t arrived so I waited next to this guy who was eating alone. He looked my way and signaled me to join his table. I didn’t mind, so I joined him. My friend called to tell me she was still in the traffic and was doubting making it on time. Over wine and fried rice, I realized something was different. My friend hadn’t arrived so I was eating with the guy. We started swapping stories and life anecdotes for over two hours, while waiting for my friend. After the third hour, things became copiously clear: we liked each other. In fact, the tone of the conversation we were having no longer felt like we were getting to know each other.

I was in my worst and best moment. Worst in the sense that, I had broken up with my ex-boyfriend and was in a very bad disposition. Best moment in the sense that, I had met this stranger who was good at making me forget my misery. When I least expected or felt like I deserved to smile, he made me smile and laugh out loud. That night, I believed that every woman deserves a life changing moment in their moments.

My date arrived and we had to call it a day. We exchanged phone numbers and I joined my girlfriend at the other table. He started texting me right there. His first message was to thank me for keeping him company. His second message was to inform me that he was leaving the restaurant. His third message was to tell me he was in his car and about to drive off. His fourth text was when he started thinking about me when he made a stop at the traffic light. Fifth message, when he got home. Sixth, when he was about to take his shower. Seventh, when he sat in his couch to watch TV. Eighth, when he got to bed, ninth, when he felt sleepy and had to say good night. Tenth, when he couldn’t sleep because I was on his mind.

Dave, I am narrating all these instances because your platform goes far. My husband and his siblings are active on social media. I want him or his two sisters to accidentally come across this story and know who it is coming from.

We did not date. We became close friends because I wasn’t ready for another relationship. Six months later, I had developed feelings for him. His had developed on the first date and had been reminding me of it every day. He lost his job in-between, and his life was jam-packed full of questions, that, he had spent three days at home, trying to answer himself with alcohol. I paid a surprise visit to him at his home for the first time, and I was greeted by a beautiful woman in a nightie. In fact, he was in his boxer shorts and was hard when he came out to greet me. And this was the same guy telling me on phone and through text messages that he was in love with me.  This was in July.

The feelings I had developed for him returned in December 20th, when I said ‘yes’ to his proposal. Yes, we could get married. He was kneeling down in his room, naked. That was 2012. Mahama and I had victory in common it seemed. There was so much unsaid between us. The scars I felt within wouldn’t heal, but I was pregnant with his child, so I couldn’t easily move on with my life. I needed his help to raise this baby. I was going to have the baby no matter what. I remember he hugged me so tight, tried to sweet talk me into laughing at his dry jokes. He wanted to kiss me, that’s all he wanted – to get in my pants again.

For as long as I have known my husband, his mother died when he was 8 years old. On our wedding day, at the reception, I heard one of his relatives make this remark, “Enti na ne Maame abodom nenam krom no ooo”. They were gossiping about an alleged mad woman being his biological mother. I was eavesdropping in the washroom. They didn’t know I was there. When I came out, they both stopped gossiping. According to the ladies, my husband and his family knew his mother was alive, and was mad, roaming about town, but had chosen not to know.

Let me fast-forward to 2018. My son started demanding I cooked two meals for him to send to school. He was giving the extra meal to his friend at school who didn’t have food to eat. Dave, I guess you know which angle this story is going now? I picked him from school one time, and I wanted to meet his friend that I had been cooking for. My son looks exactly like his father, so I am assuming the woman saw the resemblance and mistook him for her 8-year old she lost contact with decades ago. My son’s friend at school was this mad woman who slept under a tree, 100 meters from their school. So, my son would always rush to her during break time to give the food to her. I have seen a picture of my husband’s mother, and could recognize her even from 20 meters.

I asked my son why he was keeping such a friend and he said, ‘She looks familiar.’

I have had her confined in a clean rented Chamber and Hall, and she’s being attended to by a hired help my mother brought from the village. She cooks for and bathes her, she keeps her safe and sound, she’s not a threat – as I initially assumed she could be. I have gotten a family friend of my Father-in-law, who knew his ex-wife to identify her and they recognized each other, and even started chatting about the past. My mother-in-law was asking about this family friend’s children and where they are now. She remembered the names of other neighbors they lived next to and was asking this friend about them.

Dave, I am contacting you because I don’t know whether to inform my husband about his mother. Should I inform his family about her whereabouts, since they probably think she’s mad and wasted? I’ve had her confined for a year and a half.

I have been told she was a tough woman, very brave and hardworking. But she lost her strength and bravery when her husband cheated on her with his current wife, kicked her out of the house one dawn, for attacking his mistress. And that was the last her children ever saw their mother. She lost her mind in the process of being kicked out, and she kept going and going, and never returned home. She’s been asking about her two daughters and my husband. I have shown her pictures on her children, and even that of her ex-husband. She’s asking to meet with her children. Her children all go with one story, their mother died a long time ago, and that’s what their husbands and I know about our mother-in-law. Though we all call their father’s wife mummy, she’s not their biological.”

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