#MyStory

Save me from myself

“I have also embraced my role as her protector, in other worse, I have no plans to deliberately, or ever wound her. She deserves better. I will no longer let my children down, just for the sake of their mothers; I will be better and raise them to be better men. Children become what they see, and so I want mine to always see integrity and honor when they think of their father.”SG

#MyStory

“Dear David,

I’d want to firstly commend you for the great service you provide on your Facebook. It was just yesterday that I had to come online to read from your timeline, that I chanced on your video. While watching it, I was reminded of a lot that I had to go through in my own life. I always found it very difficult to share this experience with any other person but after your video had played in my mind so many times in the night, I got up to write you this letter.

While typing this, I have an uncomfortable nervous energy that is making me fidget with my fingers. 10 years ago, I was unemployed for over a year. And that job loss had a tremendous financial repercussion for my family. Dave, I had four children then, and I think my wife was getting over an affair I had had which had betrayed her trust in me. I was married to a Pharmacist, very hardworking and successful. She is very beautiful and was doing everything right in the marriage. I had no reason or excuse to mess what we had spent years to build, but the unfortunate happened. I managed to hide a few of my escapades from her until I was caught.

I don’t know how I lost my job and in the process, lost everything else, but I did. I complicated my simple life by engaging in these affairs that I thought fortified me when I had all going so well for me. Life reduced me to nothing to the extent that, I almost believed no one could see any value in me. The day I made the decision to change, it was too late. My wife’s expectations had shifted. My low self-esteem was straining our already shaking marriage. The worry and anger that came with everything else made things even worse for me. Ideally, my marriage to my ex-wife should have been my source of strength to enable me navigate the pitfalls. In fact, I was hoping we could focus on the true values of our relationship, and probably, stay very close to figure things out, but no… My ex-wife had at that moment also developed her new found interest in another man.

It was an eye-opening experience for me. I never in a million years would have believed another handsome, successful single man, with no children, could be interested in a mother of four. I don’t know what he saw in my ex-wife that I never paid attention to. They have six children now, an additional two to my four, and have been married for over seven years.

Life was difficult when my ex-wife divorced me. I begged friends and family for alms. And just like your story in the video, I endured rejection and had to suffer in silence. I lost myself and everything that meant a lot to me. I have been married to my new wife for five six years and I am so grateful I met her because it was through her act of kindness that helped me save me from myself. She needed a gardener, which I offered my skills. Dave, I had a Master’s degree in Finance and Administration as at that time. After our first conversation to know about my life, we started noticing each other and running into each other in town. We started talking more the first day I was to weed her compound, and the evening of that day, I had asked her out on a date. I had no money. She declined but made me understand she wasn’t seeing anyone. I realized that I wanted to date her; not because she was resourceful, but because she saw me for who I was. She liked talking to me. I liked talking to her. She was always available to connect me to her professional contacts for an interview.

She found me the perfect job that paid me more than I could ask for. It took our friendship/relationship nearly six months of awkward back and forth before she finally allowed me to kiss her. I asked her to marry me that same day. On our wedding day, I made a promise to love, comfort, and honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to my wife – so long as we both shall live. I have also embraced my role as her protector, in other worse, I have no plans to deliberately, or ever wound her. She deserves better. I will no longer let my children down, just for the sake of their mothers; I will be better and raise them to be better men. Children become what they see, and so I want mine to always see integrity and honor when they think of their father.

Dave, you might be wondering why I decided not to cheat again: My biological brother was cheating on his wife with a young lady he was supposed to be mentoring. They started engaging in sex and unprotected sex when their relationship had developed into something serious. One day, he visited his girlfriend and she had moved to another region without telling him. She changed phone numbers and could not be reached. No one could locate her whereabouts. One month later, my brother fell sick, seriously ill. It was a kind of Flu. His wife who is a nurse ran him through a list of options of what could be possibly wrong with him.

The day I visited him at home, his wife was asking whether he had been involved with anyone else apart from her or been engaged in any form of unprotected sex. He lied. I knew he was lying, because I was aware of the other woman who had left him heartbroken. His wife drew our attention to his symptoms, which were also associated with Acute Retro-viral Syndrome. She explained to us that that was the first symptoms of HIV. She did not say anything and left us in the house.

She was going to get herself tested.”

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