“At that point, there was nothing I could do as their friend. I needed to wait for that moment she would come to terms with the fact that, her husband had made a choice, and it wasn’t her. I needed to wait for that moment she would make the hardest decision to let go of her past. That moment she had to create a new space in her life for someone else like me to show up for her, not as her friend this time round, but a lover of her heart, body and soul.” – ITQ
“Can I also share my story with you and your cherished audience? Of course, Dave, anonymously. My wife was married when I met her. She was my friend’s best or closest friend. I was interested in my friend but she had told me she was seeing a guy she was in love with, so I couldn’t push my agenda with her. Okay, we were at this party and my friend and her friend, now my wife, were seated on the other side of the venue. I sent a text to my friend to ask her friend what she would like to drink. She called my phone and asked me to come over and ask her what she would drink myself. From that distance, I saw them laughing over something, probably me. It was after I had gotten closer to ask that my wife told me she was a married woman. She was glad I had come over to offer her a drink. Our mutual friend left us alone and that was the last we saw of her at the party. She left without telling us.
We became friends from that day. I want to talk more about my wife so let me tell you how she became single for us to start dating. Our mutual friend was sleeping with her husband. The man she was in love with was my wife’s ex-husband. And my wife had no idea about their secret relationship. My wife had shared photos of her then family with me, so I knew what the man looked like. They are married, and our friendship ceased after the revelation.
My wife loved her ex-husband so dearly, that she was willing to let it all go, so she kept her family together. She was going to forgive and forget just to keep her marriage, but her best friend was also in love and wanted her husband for herself. The drama I have had the pleasure to witness, you have no idea. And for two years, my wife couldn’t get over the idea of losing her man to another woman. She was willing to share her husband with her best friend to maintain peace, but our mutual friend wanted him for herself alone. She got pregnant for the guy and threatened to abort the child if he was not bold enough to choose her. He filed for divorce.
My wife showed me the meaning of true love when she begged her friend not to take her husband from her and the kids. At that point, there was nothing I could do as their friend. I needed to wait for that moment she would come to terms with the fact that, her husband had made a choice, and it wasn’t her. I needed to wait for that moment she would make the hardest decision to let go of her past. That moment she had to create a new space in her life for someone else like me to show up for her, not as her friend this time round, but a lover of her heart, body and soul.
For four years, I waited for the day she could put herself in the state I needed her to be, open to my intentions and advances, open to my need of her, open and ready to receive my love and attention. And it happened bro, she saw me finally. She agreed to date me. I think we went on just one official date and that was it for me. She was the one for me. I didn’t need any more dates to work the Maths. We both wanted what we felt we had or could have in the long haul. 12 years and two more kids later, I regret abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
Dave, I know the kind of man I am. She wasn’t the only lady in Ghana I could have chased but I wanted her, only her to bring out the good in me. I needed to change into a good man and I wasn’t going to play with my future like I had in the past, assuming I’d be okay with a pretty face, good front and backside, any beautiful woman… I couldn’t risk this important decision of my life. I needed to make it right for me, that one woman who gets me, that good blessing of love I could never get over with. My wife’s former friend is very beautiful, so beautiful in every physical way than my wife. That was why I was interested in her, she was my checklist, but I did not feel what I felt and am feeling for my wife for her. I can’t explain it, but in my wife’s ordinariness, my heart seizes in my chest because I cannot still believe she’s mine. That good feeling you know you can be proud of because you know this particular one will last for a lifetime. We are so compatible that my love for her goes beyond looks or superficiality.
I am grateful for our relationship because we can communicate on the same level. We connect, we share, we have trust and respect for this journey, and we’re so relaxed at it. I am comfortable with my wife in my life. I appreciate her insight into issues, even when I do not agree with it.”