Postpartum depression

Hello Dave, hope you are doing well. I’m one of your silent followers. Your page has taught me a lot. I never thought I will one day contact you with a problem.

Well, here I am and sorry if I write you a book. Dave, I am beginning to “hate” my husband and I hate myself for that because, despite everything, he is a caring husband and Dad to the kids.

I just delivered a few days ago twins and it was a Cesarean Section (CS). I’m still recovering from it and of late I wake up and I cry the whole day. My husband is my only support person. He takes care of me, helps with the babies and our toddler.

But the issue is that I wake up and I don’t eat till evening. Reason being that there is nothing at home to eat and I have to breastfeed two babies. Yesterday I ate around 10pm, can you imagine? I was so weak and could barely move.

Yet my husband was at home on his phone the whole day. Our toddler had not also eaten nor bathed. I had to manage to bath her later in the evening. I refused to talk to my husband the whole day. He kept trying to cheer me up or slam his head against the wall.

I’m fed up of this marriage. He has been jobless for a while now. I managed to get stuff for my child delivery and single-handedly catered for my antenatal care during the pregnancy. I bought everything the babies will need. And now that they are here, I still feel burdened.

I was so ok with him being jobless but now I can’t stand it. I am afraid to look in the mirror because I don’t recognize myself anymore. I look so unkempt no matter how hard I try to groom myself. I am beginning to regret every decision I ever made.

I don’t want our 3-year-old near me. I want to run away and leave the babies because we have failed them as parents. I am telling you all of these because deep down in my heart, I know my husband is doing the best he can and that I sound ungrateful.

Maybe you and members on your platform will help pump some sense into my head before I do something stupid.

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