I’m in my mid 20s and doing fairly well at my age. I’m hoping to settle down by next year. I’m sure about that but not sure if the person I am with is the one for me. Dave, my girlfriend is a good woman. She respects me, treats me right and loves me. I’m not sure I have met a persistent lady like her. We met some years ago, kind of clicked the first day. It was all good until we got intimate. I didn’t get the vibe. Since then, things haven’t been good. There was something missing with the sex but I can’t seem to figure out what exactly. Because I didn’t want to hurt her, I told her about my fears and why we needed to take things slowly.
Someway, somehow everything seemed to have died away naturally until recently when we reconnected. We talked about the past and I opened up about the connection thing. She handled the situation so well and was ready to start afresh. When I decided about marriage, I didn’t have a lot on my list though I have quite a few admirers. Weighing all the options, she was the best. She has actually given me enough reasons to affirm that. I have met her family and they like me. I’m sure she will be a good mother to my kids and my family will like her too.
But Dave, as much as I try to ignore it, I feel I’m not in this relationship. This lady calls me every day, sends lovely texts and even sends surprises to me at work. I’m quite a romantic guy but unfortunately, she is not getting any of that like I did in my past relationships.
I don’t know what has changed about me or maybe there is something with her I’m unsure of. Maybe everything is too good to be true or I’m being too hard on myself. We are far apart because of work but anytime we are together, I don’t get the connection I want.
It‘s not like there is someone else in the picture. I’m not that kind of guy. No matter the pressure, I’m always a one lady kind of guy. This lady is good Dave, I know this and I’m not exaggerating. I know she will be an amazing wife but I’m just scared. Can you have the right person and yet he or she isn’t meant for you?
I’m not sure if I can ever feel the way she feels towards me.
I don’t know if the years of single life after my last relationship is causing this but the sexual connection bothers me. What if it doesn’t get better and I lose interest in her? What if I find someone else who bonds perfectly well and thus have to call it quits?
There more I think about it, the more confused I become. I don’t know how but I hope this works out. I don’t want to hurt her again so I want to do things right. I don’t know if anyone has been there before, I need practical solutions. Thank you