I grew up in a house that tore my ability to trust. My mother could not count on my father’s words without doubts. My father had a way of making my mother cast doubt on herself when she is in doubt of him. We the children also had an idea about our father’s adulterous lifestyle that he thought he was keeping from us.
Our Papa was a good man to us; he had a way of scoring points in our score sheets though there was no integrity in both his actions and words. What actually pushed me into becoming who I am now is when my father left us to start his life all over with another woman. We did not see that coming. Something deep inside my mother was touched when dad’s final betrayal became her realization.
I was just 12 and even at that age, what he did destroyed my belief in people, myself and caused me to begin to question all that I thought I believed about love.
After that incident, my mother tried to move on but it was a nightmare experience for her because she loved our Papa so much underneath it all. I heard my mother many times on her knees praying and wondering how she could have been so stupid and naïve to have trusted his constant explanation of it all in her head.
One day, our parents sat us down to tell us what was happening .I remember it was my dad doing all the talking. He told us he and mom were having some difficulties at that time but were trying to work through them. My mother looked into his eyes when he lied about trying to work it out with her.
I had never seen my mom that pissed.
There was tension in the house. When he was done talking, my mother asked if any of us had any questions for them. My younger sister raised her hand. She had a question for my father, why he and her classmate’s mother went into the bedroom of her parents and stayed there for a long time when her father was away. My sister’s friend had told her in school and my mother was interested so she asked which of her classmates, it was one of my mother’s close friends.
The expression on my father’s face felt like someone had hit him on the head with an axe. That was not the only lady my Papa left my mom for, but Mr. David it was that moment that I made the decision not to be anything like my father.
My dear Christina, you know this story.
I told you on our date that I will never cause you to call into question my love for you. Fourteen years in marriage and you are still the one and only I am interested in. Choosing you to be my wife was the best decision I made years ago.
These 14 years has been what has made me a better man. My priority is you and no matter what state you happen to be in, it will not change my love for you.
Even when the going is tough, I will be right there by your side. I will choose to do that because I love you so much. I see how you sometimes look at other women and compare yourself to them.
I see how you sometimes feel there is more to do to look attractive for me. Christina, my personal standard of who is beautiful, is you. You are an excellent wife. You are a wonderful mother to our children and I am pleased with you.