On the blind side

Could it really be true that there are boundless opportunities out there for anyone to still find true love and happiness, even after being married to the one you assume is ‘The One’? Should men and women just get out there to explore the possibilities out there? Would it be understandable for couples to look outside of their marriage for that ‘something’ they feel is missing in their spouses? -DBM

#MyChatWithHer

GP: Hello David. Good morning.

David Bondze (DB): Good morning. How are you doing?

GP: I am confused.

DB: Awwww! Are you going to be alright?

GP: I don’t know.

DB: Hmmm!

GP: I own jewelry shop. A boutique kind of shop.

DB: Okay?

GP: I have a number of clientele, but this particular one, became a good friend. She was good business as well.

DB: Okay?

GP: She invited me to her traditional marriage in January, 2019, at Offinso, and it was my husband engaging her.

DB: What?

GP: Yeah!

DB: How is that possible?

GP: I don’t know. Because she only came to Accra to transact business, once every week or two weeks. She wasn’t friends with my husband. We never discussed about our personal lives. It was every now and then she would ask how my family was doing, and I would ask her the same. Our relationship was purely business.

DB: How did you two first become acquaintances?

GP: Do I even remember? She came to my shop to buy stuffs and we built it from there. She buys in bulk, huge quantities… so she was one of my favorite customers. My husband doesn’t come to my shop, so there was no way those two could have met there. I don’t remember the last time he traveled to Kumasi. He does travel outside of Ghana, and inside, but I don’t remember when he last mentioned traveling to Kumasi.

DB: The day you found him out at Offinso, where had he told you he was traveling to that weekend?

GP: He said he had a meeting at Akosombo, from that Friday to Monday morning. So I was to expect him home the Monday evening.

DB: Awww!

GP: I still don’t get it.

DB: How long have you been married?

GP: 14 years

DB: Kids?

GP: Yes, two.

DB: I am terribly, sorry.

GP: He called me, two weeks after the Offinso incident, to also move on with my life.

DB: You mean, he did not come back home to you?

GP: He did, but came only to pack his things out.

DB: How had things been between the two of you, prior to Offinso?

GP: We were very cool. We talked every day, on phone and all. He was there for me and the kids. Of course we had our issues, but 98% of the time, we were happy together as a family, and most importantly, as a couple.

DB: So he loved you!

GP: Very much.

DB: When your client invited you to her ceremony, didn’t you see your husband’s name on the invitation card?

GP: It was an unofficial invitation, via text. She told she was getting married and would be happy if I were there. I provided all her accessories for her big day.  When she came over to Accra, she invited me by mouth.

DB: What is your relationship with her now?

GP: She sent me a text apologizing when I left back to Accra that day.

DB: She knew she was marrying your husband?

GP: She did.

DB: How are things between you and your husband?

GP: Not good.

DB: Which of his family members accompanied him to marry that other woman?

GP: I did not recognize anyone from his family there. Or, I did not pay attention to that due to the shock.

DB: Have you informed his family?

GP: Yes.

DB: And?

GP: They promised to talk to him but we are in the fourth month of the year.

DB: Where is your husband now?

GP: I know he’s rented place around Achimota.

DB: Staying there alone?

GP: I don’t know. Obviously not.

DB: What is your family saying about all this?

GP: They’ve asked me to divorce him, but Dave, I don’t know why I am still hoping he could just give me an explanation of a sort.

DB: You love him!

GP: Very much, Dave. He makes me happy. That was the kind of man he was. I don’t know what changed.

DB: You did not see any of the possible signs of your husband cheating on you?

GP: There was nothing on him to suggest an affair. The reason why I still am in shock. I gave my husband all of the attention he needed. He came first, before the kids. That was the kind of wife I was.

DB: Hmmm! Maybe, he’s the type that loves the excitement of something/someone new. There are people like that; they enjoy new energy every now and then. Hmmm! But this is sad.

GP: And the fact that he’s not been able to give me any reason as to why, is what is confusing me.

DB: Can you forgive this?

GP: I don’t know. My love for my husband is real, Dave.

DP: What would it take for you to ever trust him again?

GP: I don’t know.

DB: Do you think he regrets doing this to you?

GP: I don’t know. We hardly talk. But he’s asked me to also move on.

DB: Move on to what?

GP: I don’t know. I’m just sad, Dave. I never expected any of this for me.

DB: Awwww!