“Until last year, I took my vows seriously. My husband and I promised not to sleep with other people. That was the mutual agreement our marriage was built on. Dave, I come from a home that did the best it could to teach me values. My husband expects me to give him what other women once used to give him. And as his wife, I expect him to also provide for me what other men could have given me, great sex all-encompassing. Mr. Bondze-Mbir, just look at my profile pictures, I am not that bad. I am beautiful and young. Other men check me out, but for my relationship status, I had avoided any temptation to cheat. I used to not to respond to flirtatious Facebook messages because I know my husband wouldn’t be pleased. I used to not to prolong any of the numerous text or WhatsApp exchanges with any of my male admirers. I still do not entertain such exchanges.
I have blocked and deleted many contacts that I know are after me for something more than the usual friendships. I have tried over the years to honor my marriage to my husband, because I love my marriage. I want it to survive, thus intentionally ending all forms of communication to divide my attention. I make sure I am in no uncomfortable situation to want to keep a secret from my husband. Then I found out my husband was having an affair. I did not want to confront him without any proof, and so I asked an IT friend of mine to help me gather evidence. I thought I could deal with it if he were cheating, but Dave, it’s not been as simple as I thought. The friend asked me to send him a serial number and a code on my husband’s phone. I sent him the information while my husband was asleep, and he was able to clone my husband’s gadget.
Any time my husband texts or WhatsApps or calls, I am able to see the texts and the numbers sent to. I see and read all incoming texts and messages sent to him. I am unable to listen in on phone calls, but I see all the numbers he calls and those that call him.
I haven’t been able to confront him since I got the evidence I so much needed, instead, I am fucking one man and living of my husband. I have been doing this for over a year now, and I am really loving it. I am no longer bothered about what my husband does. I am enjoying what he is also enjoying outside home. I did not know how sexually unsatisfied I was till my outside gala. This new guy is doing his part to keep the spark alive between us. He is young, and might want a woman of his own so I am not emotionally involved with him. I like him, but I am ready to let go if he wants out. I don’t blame my husband for my choices. I blame only me for betraying my husband’s trust by acting on this urge to equally cheat.
I still read his messages on my secret phone, and I know he is in love with this girl he is sleeping with. I have processed my emotions in the past year or two to come to this final conclusion, that I love my marriage, I still love my husband. I love the good sex I am having with my side piece, and do not want to stop any time soon. I am no longer emotionally invested in my marriage. I think we both want the marriage, we are just not as committed as we used to think, and it’s fine by me.
How do I make sure my husband doesn’t find out?” – Mrs