#MyStory

Married to George

“My father has been a strong support in my life. If I know how to respect and love myself, then he was the teacher of that, but he did not walk me down the aisle to give me away to my husband, my children did. We just held hands down the aisle together to start a brand new life with George. The kids needed to know that mom was not choosing a new chapter of happiness with George alone. I brought them along to walk this journey with me. We needed to walk and stick to this path together, as a family. I took this second walk with the children because they love and support my decision to marry George. The moment was everything I never could have imagined. I had so much going on around me that day to absorb emotionally. I felt at ease, and at peace – the moment I took my husband’s hand to say my vows. I may not have been able to give my children every toy or outfit they wanted, but I haven’t failed them yet on giving so much love and affection and support.”Judith

Sent to me on the 16th of October, 2019

“Hi David,

After reading from your wall for the past few months, I am tempted to also send in my experience. Marriage meant the world to me, especially after witnessing that of my parents at home as a child, and as a young woman in my growing up. My Dad actually made me fall in love with love, and marriage. I wanted to marry a man like my father. He was the smile on my mother’s face, and mum wore him and the smile so well, every day, it looked good on her. My mother wasn’t aging: everyone noticed over the years. I remember people would always be asking and wondering when she would ever grow old:

“Na Araba oo, what at all are you feeding on? 

Don’t you want to grow? 

What’s your secret? 

You look the same always… etc. “

They weren’t a perfect couple, no! They had their individual differences. They screamed at each other, they fought, they slept in separate rooms sometimes, but they always talked things through. My siblings and I witnessed firsthand, how they would often apologize to each other after a fight, or beg any of us to apologize in their stead, and when the apology is accepted, they would either kiss or hug in our presence and then enter their bedroom and lock the door.

I wanted that kind of marriage for me, but because I could never have known the kind of environment and upbringing and family my husband was raised in, I wasn’t expecting the world out of any man I didn’t grow up with at home. And so when I stood in front of this man I loved with my all, in my lacy white gown, with a bouquet of white roses, in the presence of our families and friends, and pledged to love only him till death, I meant every word. And I believed in his vows to me too. I really thought he meant it.

I wanted to create a memorable journey with my ex-husband when I said “I do! “. I feel very sad whenever the thoughts of him crosses my mind. The fact that I believed in him and trusted his lies. The fact that he lied to my father ‘to be true to me and never hurt my feelings’. He broke that promise when I was six months pregnant with our first child. And the affairs and lies, the neglect, the loneliness I endured in the marriage and the verbal abuses continued through to the birth of our third child, after which I had to divorce him for my peace of mind.

Luckily for me, I had that support system when I needed them in my difficult hour. My mum and sister were solidly on standby to take me in. A best friend I had was ready to legally represent me. My brother was willing to do almost anything for the kids. This support gave me hope and reason to boldly take the walk out of my misery. My brother is very rich, and so he bought a car, and a three bedroom house in my name. He moved us from my husband’s home even before I could find my own strength to consider the divorce. I wasn’t happy in the marriage, yet I was almost staying.

Dave, most women are suffering in their marriages and are not considering a divorce because they have no one to help them when out. I don’t blame them, because it is never an easy decision to take. Marriage isn’t the greatest blessing in a woman’s life. Peace is! If a woman has her peace of mind, she dreams dreams, she is and has fun, her body fills up, she finds challenges to overcome, and she soars.

Three weeks after changing my sleeping place, I met the man I am in love with now. I live in a gated community, so I was taking a walk with the kids when he joined us with his kids. He had buried his late wife, and was still grieving with his children (who are almost my kids’ age). The kids bonded there and then, and were already playing and laughing. They ended up in my house after the walk, and I had to cook for all of us. It was like, we knew each other for years. We had only been chatting for an hour and a half.

Sometimes, all an unhappy married woman needs to change her outlook is just an hour and a half with the right person. Just one hour, thirty minutes perh! Bebiara b3y3 fine. 

My life has never been the same since. I am divorced now, and have been proposed to, twice, by my neighbor, but I have not been able to accept his marriage proposal. I think I am scared of the unknown, though George, is everything my dad was to my mother. My father used to make my mother laugh for whatever reason. Lol!

George can make me laugh saaa ma teta meho. Hehehehe. 

He is my humor. When things get tough, he manages to make us find something funny to laugh about in the situation, even after a heated fight. In our worst, he’d still make us want to laugh and fuck. One of the finest men I have ever encountered is in love with me. My son wants to walk me down the aisle to marry George. Writing just that kraa puts a tear in my eye. The kids love him. His kids love me. And the conflicting part of it all is, my ex-husband wants me back.

Dave, I tried not to explicitly put into words the horror my ex put me through. He is a follower of your page, and I know he is reading this post right now. He knows it’s him I am talking about, and I just don’t know what to do with his request. I am not in love with him anymore. The kids wants me to be happy with George. I am just sad about the fact that, kids under 10 years old would rather choose George for a husband for their mother than their biological father. That, is what makes me sad.

Women need to pay attention to all the details to a man:

Do not marry a braggart 

Do not marry a man who talks bad about people he used to like or love. 

Do not marry a man who can humiliate you in the presence of a third party. 

Do not marry a man who tells people what he has bought for you, how much he’s ever given or spent on you, or what he has done for you. 

If he lies too often in the dating process, his habit will be lies to you in the marriage. 

If he cheats on you, he will cheat on you no matter what. 

Do not marry anyone who makes you feel less of a human being. 

Do not marry arrogance and pride. 

I asked George to read on you page from 7:00 am, Friday, 18th of October, 2019. I don’t know if you’re going to see and read my message on time, but Dave, if you do, please tell George that I said,

“Yes! “

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