Love is the choice I make

What could be more gorgeous and sensual than a resilient, assertive and secure woman? She has done her inner work. She feels worthy about who she is and is contented in her own skin. She does not have to be stunning, rich and celebrated, but she does have to live her life from a place of significance and tenacity. Her persistence can be anything as long as it means something to her. She is the type of woman that has not waited around for Mr. Right to come rescue and build a life for her. Instead, she has shaped her own personal domain. As a future husband comes along or not, she’s still finding a way to combine who she is and what she stands for without giving up everything she has created – for the sake of ‘Love/Relationship/Marriage. Her friends are important to her, and family means life. – DBM

#MyChatWithHer (SINGLES)

NS: Hello David. I am single, and would like to volunteer.

David Bondze (DB): Hello! Thank you for volunteering

NS: You’re welcome. I read from your platform every day. I may be part of the ‘Silent Readers’ association. Lol!

DB: Hahahahaha! That’s fine.

NS: You’re doing an exceptionally, amazing job for some of us. And to come to think of the fact that, we get to read all these for free? Thank you, man

DB: Lol! Awwww… You’re welcome. It’s a learning process for me too

NS: I thought you were going to shut down after that expose’ in March. I felt so bad for you, Dave. After all the insults and ridiculing

DB: It’s a phase in life. Everyone is going to travel through ‘hell’ at a point in their lives. And that unfortunate experience helped me a lot. I paid attention to everyone’s comment, insult, and mockery… Even on pages/profiles I was tagged. Just be encouraged that, when it’s your turn, someday, to also pass through your own version of ‘hell’, you wouldn’t allow that moment to take away your strength.

People may laugh at your supposed downfall, but don’t fall. Others may think they might be able to get away with things, do not let it hurt your feelings so much. Walk past them with so much mercy/forgiveness in your heart, because for all you know, they might not also understand who they might have become at that very moment.

Those who would laugh at you because, unconsciously, they live their lives by comparison, refuse to come to their level; walk past them. They are individuals who do not care about anyone – other than who might be making them feel confident. Let them make fun of you, because in that, they put out your light than find their own. They will not have the ability to see beyond the false sense of excitement they might be getting from destroying you. Let them win, while you pick yourself up again, and walk.

NS: That’s fair

DB: Yes! Everything happens for a reason, my sister.

NS: Thanks for the words of encouragement. I needed to hear that.

DB: So, are you single?

NS: Very single, Dave

DB: For how long now?

NS: Three (3) years.

DB: Hmmm! That’s quite a time. But, you are so beautiful, seriously. Where are the guys looking?

NS: You see ooo.

DB: How old are you?

NS: 37 years

DB: I see

NS: Lol! And, a virgin

DB: No!

NS: Yes

DB: Oh, NNNNNNNNNN to the capital No!

NS: Lol! Yessssss

DB: Damn!

NS: Why?

DB: A beautiful virgin? Damn

NS: You are surprised?

DB: For your age, yeah. However, I ain’t so surprised you are a virgin, because I have two sisters, one in her late 20’s and the youngest in her mid-20’s, who are virgins also, and proud of themselves. They are of the belief that, the first man to see their nakedness should be the one they would be sleeping with on their wedding nights.

NS: I would love to meet them. That has been my belief also

DB: And, how close has it gotten you a man to marry?

NS: I am not so desperate that I just want to marry anyone. I have dated a lot of men in my lifetime. It’s rather unfortunate we had different principles. I wanted sex after marriage. They wanted sex in the relationship they believed could lead to marriage.

DB: What would have been wrong with you meeting their needs half way through?

NS: Dave, I get to experience this amazing moment of falling in love and getting married, just once. I don’t want to go through what most of my friends are going through, cheating, separations, divorces, no. That’s not what God promised me. That’s why I am not in a hurry. My relationships can never be rushed to maturity by any ‘horny’ man.

DB: Hmmm!

NS: I’m blessed beyond words. I have achieved a lot by God’s grace. Three (3) Masters Degrees, a PhD in Economics, a Chartered Accountant, and a visiting Professor at a University in the UK? I am very comfortable and never in a rush. The man after my own heart will show up, and he will be patient enough to want us to nurture our relationship to the extent that, we would be able to bond in better ways without being intimate. I’ve dated to know guys, but I have never fallen in love before. My husband should be that man I will fall in love with. It’s just like everything else in life, Dave, if you force it, and you rush into it, it just might not go well

DB: Or it just might

NS: Well, of course

DB: What’s your opinion on singles having certain standards to expect in a potential lover?

NS: My standards guides my conducts. My expectations draws me closer to the right one meant for me. If our standards and expectations doesn’t match up, then we are not meant to be. And I am cool with that.

DB: How important is sex to you?

NS: Ogya bi daw wo me mu, every day, and it’s an Ogya of cravings, of hunger for my husband. It glows, it thunders, it’s wild inside of me. That’s how dangerous I will be when I am burning my husband.

DB: But you have ZERO experience. How do you burn a firebrand?

NS: I will learn on the job. I am a learner, and have been learning on the job in my professional life.

DB: I see

NS: Do you know what learning on the job has given me?

DB: Tell me!


DB: Hmmm!

NS: I employ over 98 people in my firm. The least in ladder earns nothing less than GHs 700. And that is even security men. I own a home in Ghana, and another in London. Ask your UK friends what it means to own a Four (4) bedroom home in London. I am very comfortable. That is what learning on the job does.

DB: Most men think it’s a chore teaching virgins how to be pros in bed.

NS: Those are Men, not MEN! A real MAN leads. And a leader has a teachable spirit. A real MAN is humble enough to help his significant other to be better. To be what he would delight. The best MEN simply enjoy to serve: Knowing that they have contributed to the growth of their women is an end in itself for them. That’s a MAN. That’s a HUSBAND!

DB: Hmmm!

NS: Look at all those men cheating on their wives, they went for what they had used, they went for experience, but have you asked yourself why they are still cheating on the ‘pro’? Why are they not content with only their wives? Because they’re not MAN enough to LOVE and CHERISH. Love keeps the promise. A MAN keeps the promise to forgo all others, for the sake of his wife. A real MAN holds faithfulness and sincerity as his first principle.

DB: I see

NS: My husband should make it his pleasure to teach me how to be nasty. His NASTY in the bedroom, so when I am ready enough to teach that old dog new tricks, he will thank his god for marrying me. For saving him from making further mistakes.

DB: What are your thoughts about kids?

NS: I want Four (4) kids. My husband has a lot of work to do because I love kids.

DB: Is there something about you that you are expecting to change?

NS: I’m too emotional. Almost everything gets at me. I wish I could be better than that.

DB: How good are you at/with handling finances?

NS: My husband will thank God he found me. Money multiplies in my hands. Every Ghs 100 I touch in a week, turns to GHs 1,000. Money loves me.

DB: Lol!

NS: You asked for an open convo.

DB: I did! Is the need for a free and alone time in a relationship, something you are okay with?

NS: Dave, I am an independent woman, and my greatest fear in a marriage would be to lose myself. Every human being ought to be a little selfish sometimes. It has to be okay in a marriage for a partner to want to be alone. I want to have the opportunity to revisit my feelings of freedom, even after marriage. Loving and wanting to be with my husband is a great gain, however, self-knowledge needs to be maintained also. My husband should have enough room to reconcile with his independence, without me being insecure about it.

DB: Okay!

NS: Yep

DB: Do you think house chores should be shared in marriage?

NS: My marriage, in its truest sense, should be a solid partnership of equals, with neither of us exercising dominion over the other, rather, with each encouraging and ASSISTING the other in WHATEVER RESPONSIBILITIES and aspirations we might have.

DB: You so remind me of someone.

NS: That’s good to know.

DB: How stuck are you with your job, and what would happen if you got fired one day, while married?

NS: I own companies and employ staff to support the economy of Ghana. I don’t intend firing myself yet.

DB: Are you comfortable with the idea of your future partner being close to/with others? And at what point would you assume an emotional affair?

NS: Emotional affair would be when my intuition begins to resound the alarm that something could be off. That’s the only time I will pay attention to asking him, whether or not he’s cheating or considering to cheat on me.

DB: How relevant is the upkeep of physical appearance in a relationship?

NS: How old would you have guessed I am, if I hadn’t mentioned my age to you?

DB: 28

NS: There! You have your answer.

DB: Do you forgive easily?

NS: Every time I have forgiven, I in no way changed the past, but I sure did change the future. I live for a better future.

DB: What will make you want out of a relationship/marriage?

NS: When my husband cheats on me.

DB: Lol! Gurrrl, was it a second ago that you preached forgiveness?

NS: I will forgive him for the affair, but I will move on to make a new beginning. He’d have that opportunity too.

DB: Hmmm!

NS: It’s that simple with me. I will never disrespect the man I love by stooping so low – as to cheat on him. Then I never loved him to begin with. Love doesn’t mean that you have to stay and by-force, make it work. No! I can still DIVORCE my husband and love with a pure heart.

DB: What is love then?

NS: Love is the choices I make.

DB: Thank you for this chat

NS: You’re welcome, David.

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