“She may not have been the preferred type to excite my vision as a man, but she’s become the love of my life over the years due to what we both have created and committed to. She’s not perfect but she’s my best decision yet. I am happy with my decision. I am not chasing after some elusive happiness in a woman. What I have is enough for me to make it feel like what I always wanted.” – SRE
“My wife was my colleague’s patient at the hospital. I am a Gynecologist. She had been trying to get pregnant with her ex-husband and had been booking appointments with my colleague for four years. She had been married for eight years when I first met her. The next time I saw her at the hospital, she was crying. She was getting a divorce. Her husband had impregnated another woman, and had tried covering it up. She found out later and could not get over the hurt. I was upset when I got to know what had happened to her. I think her stopping by at the hospital to meet with her doctor for the last time, was meant to be. Because here we are, 14 years later, married with two kids. Yes Dave, our biological children, birthed through the natural process: husband and wife having regular sex, getting pregnant and having babies. Our relationship is still hanging on by our sheer will power and want to be committed to each other in this marriage.
My wife and I are in a good place in our relationship. We get along so great and the love is deep. We’ve been inseparable since I first spoke to her. It was a simple introduction. “Opoku tells me you’re getting a divorce?”
“Yes” she said
“Good! Because I am going to marry you once you become single again” I told her straight to the face. I wasn’t sure of what I was saying to her, but I was sure. Opoku was standing next to her and was equally shocked. My wife looked at her doctor, and then gaped back at me. She got the message. I was serious. I was single, in my late thirties, and though was not seriously searching for love, was open to possibilities of it. I was not uncomfortable telling her what I told her that day. I felt calm, she felt calm and received my message in shock. I was at peace after making my intentions clear. She looked peaceful, though confused. And I was very happy after saying all I wanted to say to her that moment. She smiled too. I knew she assumed I could be crazy or not serious, but she got the message… I liked her and wanted to get to know her. We exchanged phone numbers and everything is as they say, history.
I did not know her enough. The little I knew was the information gathered from my friend. And I needed to trust my gut feeling that she was a good woman, deserving of love. I had no intentions to want to try to change her if she gave me the chance to know her. And since we married, I haven’t attempted changing her. I did not care if she could give me children. Did I want children? Yes, but I did not care if my marriage to her could produce kids. I was willing to accept who we were and become her biggest supporter in life.
I wanted every important person in my life to know and meet her when we started talking on phone as friends. I was genuinely excited about the prospect of being her friend, and I no longer was interested in looking around for potential soulmates. My wife was my biggest life decision, with a lot of the unknowns hanging over my head. I did not want to mess my future up. I did not want to choose the wrong woman for this journey. I approached her in that unconventional manner because I wasn’t really looking for ‘The One’ to settle with. Searching for ‘The One’ only meant looking for specific details in a woman, and my taste then was tight, big butts, big breasts, and pretty face and had to be well educated. My wife is the opposite of my preference. I chose her because whenever she smiled, I could see a woman I could fuel a serious relationship with.
I am not here to say I have been a ‘good boy’ all my life but I can proudly say I have not cheated on my wife since we married. I chose to be faithful to her because I respect her struggle and all the efforts she’s deliberately, put into the love she has for me. I have put my shit together and controlled all false desires to want to look elsewhere for pleasure. Our wavelengths are different, we disagree a lot. We fight like every couple does, but our fights are short lived. I have said nasty things I really did not mean to her – just to defeat her, but I would always apologize. We have tried over the years not to hold on grudges against each other. Life is too short to be hating the one person you know you love so dearly.
She makes me laugh a lot and I think she’s the one for me. She may not have been the preferred type to excite my vision as a man, but she’s become the love of my life over the years due to what we both have created and committed to. She’s not perfect but she’s my best decision yet. I am happy with my decision. I am not chasing after some elusive happiness in a woman. What I have is enough for me to make it feel like what I always wanted. There is meaning in this woman I am committed to. That is why I could easily sacrifice the superficial for what really matters. Thankfully, I am emotionally stable. My wife is just it. I am just me. We are just that, happy and blessed to have found each other.
She gave birth to our first child, three years after we married, and followed it up, a year later with our second born. I asked for her hand in marriage from her parents, two weeks after her divorce to her ex-husband was granted by the court. Time no dey!”