Is it really the biological imperative or right of a man to have sex with as many women as possible, regardless of their marital statuses? Is it true that all men cheat or will cheat at a point in life? Do all men get the ‘high’ (the feeling that it’s all wrong, yet it feels great) from the forbidden nature of cheating, and thus, cheat? Is monogamy even achievable?
Why is Sam Okyir faithful to his wife? – DBM
Following is our chat
SO: Hi Dave. This is Sammy. Can I chat you with my wife’s phone?
David Bondze (DB): Good evening. How are you doing?
SO: Very well sir. Thanks and you?
DB: I am doing alright, thanks. So, you are married?
SO: Yes please
DB: For how long?
SO: We are in our 8th year this December.
DB: Oh, wow! That’s impressive. Congratulations!
SO: Thanks sir
DB: You have kids?
SO: Three (3) kids, Two (2) girls and a boy… Beautiful kids
DB: I see. I’m happy for you
SO: Thanks
DB: Have you been FAITHFUL to ONLY your wife – throughout the 8 years?
SO: Yes, her only
DB: Wow! This is interesting.
SO: It’s by grace
DB: So, what about your wife first attracted you to her?
SO: Very respectful, smart and straightforward. We shared common interest as well.
DB: I see
SO: Yeah
DB: So, those were the qualities that got you interested in her?
SO: Many more: she’s beautiful oh and her sense of humor too
DB: Awwww! That’s nice to know
SO: I remember on our wedding day, my dad said he never knew a woman could make me laugh out so loud
DB: Lol!
SO: Yes
DB: So, at what point did you realize you were falling in love with her?
SO: After 8 months of serious friendship, we got married 4 months later
DB: I see. So, friendship was key in your relationship with Mrs.?
SO: She’s my best friend. We talk about everything. We don’t hide anything from each other. She actually has answers to most of my problems.
DB: Hmmm! I see
SO: Yeah! That is how we started. God is Good
DB: Most men I have ever chatted, claim the ‘Test and Buy’ philosophy in relationships is a vital ingredient. Were you and Mrs. engaging in sex to know your compatibility level, sexually?
SO: The feeling I had for her was very strong and genuine. We talked about sex sometimes and laughed about it. I wasn’t in a hurry to have sex with her. I was a enjoying the friendship and because she was strict, I didn’t want to even try anything like that.
DB: Hmmm! I see
SO: I knew we were meant for each other through prayers
DB: I see
SO: I prayed about her often, that if she was the right person, God should guide me
DB: So, there was no sex between you two until after you married?
SO: Yes… It was a decision we took and we made sure it wasn’t broken.
DB: Wonderful! After that gamble of not ‘testing before the buying’, does she please you sexually?
SO: Yes of course. I teach her what I like and she does it perfectly. She never says no to me: not even once. Ever ready ooo. That’s my baby girl
DB: Glory! Glory! … GLORY!
SO: She’s never said ‘I won’t do’ before. Eeiiiii, this girl! Even if she’s angry kraaaa she will swallow
DB: Oh, wow!
SO: Yes
DB: Do you think you also satisfy her sexually?
SO: She always thanks me for a great Job. Lol
DB: Hahahahah! Eish!
SO: David, Lol
DB: Lol
SO: David, God gave me a wife oooo, hmmm
DB: Good to know. How important is sex in your marriage?
SO: Very important
DB: I see
SO: Very very important, because I’m not looking at any woman apart from my wife, so the love making always keeps our bond stronger and stronger
DB: The 8 years journey nu, I’d want to believe it hasn’t been all rosy. How have you two managed to deal with the ‘not-so-good’ moments?
SO: Marriage is work David. No matter how we get angry with each other, one tries to calm down for the other. Sometimes, it’s difficult but we try. I won’t lie to you. Sometimes, it is…
DB: I see. Hmmm!
SO: Hmmm
DB: You are an extremely good looking gentleman. How do you fight temptations from women?
SO: My wife says I’m very difficult to approach. Moreover, I have rules and regulations that guides me. This is my covenant with God, not to look twice at any woman
DB: Wow!
SO: It has become a part of me
DB: I see
SO: And, I am an extremely busy guy, so the least chance I get – I have to sleep
DB: You have been mentioning ‘GOD’ and ‘Prayers’ and stuff: How important is the ‘GOD-Factor’ in your marriage?
SO: Very important. Marriage without God dze, I wonder ooo. He’s our pillar. Whenever we join hands and pray about an issue, the answer is faster.
DB: I see
SO: And from where I’m coming from dze, without God, nothing will work for me, and even for her too.
DB: I have five more questions to ask. Are you okay with that?
SO: Yes please
DB: Thanks. Is the need for a free and alone time in marriage, something you are okay with?
SO: Not at all David. I have suffered papa. For this eight years my wife spent most of her time in Accra, because of work. She recently joined me permanently. Free and alone – when my wife is around? Daabi.
DB: Lol!
SO: We do everything together so there’s no free and alone for anybody.
DB: Are you comfortable with the idea of your wife being close to/with other guys? And at what point would you assume an emotional affair?
SO: The friends I have are males and most of them confide in her. She’s our mummy. She flows with them all very well, so they also talk to her and seek for advice from her. They love her because she’s kind. However, if you misbehave, fire dze you will receive
DB: Hahahaha. Interesting
SO: Yes she’s very straightforward ooo. Eboa kraa
DB: I see
SO: You also don’t want to mess with her husband.
DB: Lol!
SO: But I like the way she treats my friends with respect
DB: I see. Respect is very important
SO: Emotional affair dze…
DB: Hmmm! Will an affair make you want out?
SO: I would be disappointed. I might forgive because of my kids. Because I don’t want any step siblings’ matters biaaa
DB: I see
SO: Growing up I always said I wouldn’t want to have kids with two women. God help me!
DB: Do you forgive easily?
SO: I easily let go after being hurt. Sometimes my wife wonders. But that’s how I am. My mum is like that too
DB: That’s nice of you. I’d like to give you an opportunity to say something sweet to your wife
SO: Oh, ok. Firstly thank her for me
DB: Awwww!
SO: My wife is the best thing that ever happened to me. I love, cherish and respect her. She’s been a strong pillar behind my success. Good mother to our kids. I will never cheat on her. God richly bless her and her ministry. I’m with her. Thank her for loving my mother like hers.
DB: That’s deep! Wow! That’s deep. Hmmm! What would be your last words to anyone reading this post?
SO: Oh, ok. I strongly believe that with all that’s going on in this world, there are still angels in the form of wives and husbands on the earth. Don’t give up on God. Keep praying and God will connect you to your right partner. A good marriage is Sweet. God bless everybody
DB: Thank you so much, Mr. Okyir, for allowing this open conversation. I really appreciate you
SO: Anytime, king David
DB: 😊
SO: Good night bros.
DB: Good night, Sir