He only wanted to eat fresh fish, and he went to the market to buy just that. But love seemed to have come along and bumped into him. He was open to change, and he grasped the opportunity, because it is never too late to want to love and be loved back.
Anyone is deserving of Love. -DBM
“Good morning, D
How are you doing? So, I’m also a huge fan of your platform. And to be honest with you, I had a tall list of characteristics on my mind when it came to my ideal wife material: I wanted my girl to be HOT but not so much of a slut. I needed her to be CLEVER. I wanted her somewhat, skinny, but could also cook. My greatest fear was to choose the wrong woman for a wife so when I made the decision to marry my wife, I was 100% sure, without a doubt, that I had made the right choice.
I wasn’t scared for any reason. I never had a single second thought about her. All I knew was the contentment and the enthusiastic hope she introduced into my life. My commitment to my wife was not about finding a woman I could live with. My decision was solely about finding the one woman I couldn’t live without. And when I got to know my wife, I was certain she was the one.
I usually bought my fresh Fish from one particular old lady at the market. Nine (9) years ago was the time I became her regular customer. I had passed by her stand, totally confused. I wanted to buy fish, but wasn’t sure or just didn’t know which type tasted best. I remember she walked behind me – after passing her stand, to tap on my shoulder with her ‘fishy’, smelly right hand. That’s one thing I hated; to be touched by any market woman: They would either soil your shirt or leave the scent of whatever it is they sold, on you. I wasn’t comfortable with her touching me but had to allow. She was older than me. She sold me fish, overpriced it of course, and then pretended to be teaching me how to prepare/treat the fish. She shared the recipe for a delicious stew she prepared with that particular fish at home. I tried the recipe, and, fortunately or unfortunately, got stuck to it till date.
In 2014, June, I needed fresh fish. She usually would suggest the type of fish for me – each time I visited the market, per my mood/attitude. She often would ask, “How are you feeling today?” in Ga, and depending on my response, would sell the appropriate fish to make my day. This time round, she wasn’t at her stands; a different young lady was. I asked where the old woman was and she replied, “Home!” I asked who she also was, and that was the old lady’s daughter. She had stepped in for her mother from school, for Three (3) days, due to ill health. They needed money to take her to the hospital. I called her mother on phone, had a short chit-chat, and then handed my phone over to the daughter. Her mother instructed her on the kind of fish to sell to me. When I was about leaving the market, the young lady asked me,
“Please, are you single?”
Dave, to be honest that was my first time of hearing a woman, ask a man (Me) that question. It was funny to me, so I smiled; no, I think I laughed. She wasn’t embarrassed the least. She smiled back with a serious look. She was serious. Instead of answering her question, I asked of her age.
“31” she answered
I wasn’t entirely single. I was in a complicated relationship that wasn’t heading anywhere. The lady I was seeing, was seeing Two (2) other men to choose the best amongst us. I was still holding on to her because I loved her dearly. She loved me too but she wasn’t sure if I was the ‘best’ thing to ever happen to her. She felt she needed to be sure I was ‘The One’ before deciding to commit to only me. None of the other men knew they were sharing one woman in a competition unknown to them.
“Yes, I am single.” I replied
She looked at me closely, and then asked me to support her mother. These were her exact words, “Your mother-in-law needs you to help her go to the hospital. She can’t afford it. We can’t afford it”
I asked her if she were single, and she was. I opened my wallet, gave her enough money to take her mother to see the doctor, and then left to my house. I kept checking on them from time to time, until my next visit to the market. She had regained her strength and was back at post. Her daughter had also returned to school. I got to know from that day, that her daughter had been making enquiries about me from her, since she found out that I was her mother’s favorite customer. I made my own enquiries about her daughter and I liked what I was hearing. But which mother wouldn’t place their daughters on the bright side of day? She advertised her ‘baby’ girl well-well to me. And, I was interested. The fact that she could leave her studies (at the University of Ghana) to come and sell fish, at the market, and not be shy about it, said a lot to me about her.
I needed a woman like that in my life. I took her contact number from her mother, and then, called to check on her. The checking on her graduated to lunch dates, then to regular dates, and then to visitations to my home. One thing I found annoying at a point, was when she made me understand we weren’t going to have sex until I had put a ring on her finger first. I thought it was a joke, because my plan was to know her (in all areas) for at least, a year, before thinking of marriage.
However, she was okay to date me for as long as whenever, so far as I wasn’t going to introduce the subject about sex, or think of making the attempt to. I asked for her reasons, and it was simple, she had dated men that wanted to have it all in a relationship, but then found someone else after a few years to date. She wasn’t going on that road anymore, with anyone. She believed any serious man had to know his wife by name after a first meet and talk with her. She wasn’t desperate for marriage. She just wasn’t going to be sleeping around anymore, until she was married. And, that was very important to her.
I forgot all about her and went out chasing other girls for my needs’ sake. I had so much fun, and I lived life to the fullest. I went to the market with a lady I was dating, to buy fish, and the old lady’s daughter was the one there, selling for her mother. A very handsome man was buying fish from her, and from the distance, the man seemed to be making her laugh her heart out. She looked so beautiful from where I was standing. I got closer to her stands, and the man was a member of parliament. I looked at his ring-finger, and he had no wedding band on. In our presence, he asked for her phone number, but she wouldn’t give it out, so he called out his, aloud, for the lady to write or store it on her phone. I saw her save the contact on her phone, but that wasn’t even what triggered the ‘alarm’ in me.
The fact that my girlfriend was also storing his number on her phone. She was pretending to be checking her messages or something to suggest that, but then, I saw her save his number on her phone, even though he wasn’t sharing the number with her.
That was my wake-up call. Dave, the truth was I was going to marry this girl I went to the market with. She gave me good sex, great loving, interesting conversations, pretty sight to look at and enjoy, etc. A few weeks after that market incident, something about her changed. She used to respond to my messages on time. The timing slightly changed. She used to love sex. She started giving excuses to avoid sex. She used to miss me when I did not check on her. She didn’t miss my silence anymore. We were together alright, but it wasn’t the same.
I became alarmed and started eating fish every two days. I had to come back to my original plan. I found every excuse to see this fish seller at the market. And she tolerated me somehow. She forgave me for my behavior towards her in the past. I was at the market one time to see her, when this MP passed by again. I got to know he had been pursuing her over the weeks, but she had been ignoring his advances. It bothered me. Why would an MP be following a fish seller? Why would anyone even be interested in a fish seller? What at all was it about her that seemed to attract all of us to want her? I was questioning so many things in my head, when I heard her tell the MP,
“That’s my fiancé.” Pointing towards me. “He’s asked me to marry him and I am still praying about his proposal.”
Since that day, we spent a substantial amount of time getting to know each other. And as we built a friendship on respect and trust, we came to see the great benefits of a lifelong commitment. We began to discuss the ‘what if’s’ of a life together, and when the time was right, I proposed with a ring to signify my commitment, after cooking rice with some of her fish.
My proposal wasn’t a surprise, but neither did she take it lightly. We had already decided to move forward, and the actual proposal was a confirmation of our mutual decision to want to love and be loved back, and not only that, but to also spend the rest of our lives together. Dave, knowing I had found a wife in her was not rocket science. I realized that, the decision to want to spend the rest of my life with her was the easiest decision I had ever made in my life.” – From CTY