“I have never met anyone empathetic and understanding as my wife. We talk about everything, anything. She respects me and I am so proud of her. She does not manipulate me emotionally, she doesn’t give me the silent treatment anymore. She feeds me good meals. She’s my other eye when it comes to double checking anything, so balanced, decent, and inspiring” – TOS
“I met my wife on Facebook, eight years ago. I made a silly comment on an online post and she responded to my comment by asking whether or not I was okay. Of course, I thought I was okay. But the truth was, I wasn’t sure. I later got to know after meeting her, that I had been fighting depression for more than eight years. Almost a decade of toxic behavior, late night or lack of good sleep and having to always pretend the next day that, all was well with me. I was always making the effort to be smiling at work, trying so hard to be or make myself happy. I didn’t know how ‘needy’ I was till I accepted my wife’s friendship request on Facebook, and needed a friend in her to lean on.
What she did, there’s no way I can put that into words. We became very good friends on Facebook, and she asked me out on a date – because I wasn’t finding my self-confidence to ask her. Dave, during this period of my life, I was on my all-time low in self-confidence. I couldn’t even look her in the eye on that first date. I was struggling to keep a conversation going between us. She asked if I were nervous, and I said, ‘yes’. My wife was the pretty quiet and painfully shy type of woman. I knew this about her because she had told me in a chat earlier. I was scared of disappointing her. I feared she’d walk out on me or might dislike me because I wasn’t being forthcoming. I indirectly had put her in an uncomfortable situation on that date. I was tensed up, and had retreated into my awkward self, and hoping for the date to be over already. She asked what I really wanted, and my reply was, “I want to go home.”
I left this beautiful woman alone at the restaurant, walked to my car and just drove off. Unknown to me, she was driving behind, following me. I got to my joint, to buy some weed. She had parked her car from a distance and had been watching me and my gang smoke and drink. Then I heard screams from behind, one of my guys had spotted her and was thinking she was spying on us or something. Because I did not know which type of car she drove, I couldn’t tell who was being assaulted in the car. All I knew was, my guys attempted to rape her. She shouted my name for help, and that was when I had to find my own strength.
She withdrew from me after the unfortunate incident. The horror of what had happened to her changed my way of life and kind of, limited my association and also, my engagements with my gang. My wife’s decision to distance herself from me also made me second-guess myself and every decision I ever took since that day. She used to be the one always texting or calling to check on me, but all that stopped. I didn’t know how much I needed her in my life until she was no longer interested in my life.
The hardest thing for me to do was to give up my weed and alcohol, because she specifically told me, “I wasn’t raised to be hanging around weed smokers”. She stood up for her safety and demanded she deserved better. I quit smoking and also drinking that moment. I haven’t smoked or taken alcohol for the past seven and a half years. I knew the kind of life I wanted for myself, and losing her wasn’t a good step into helping me. I gave up so much to gain so much, her friendship, trust and most importantly, her love for me. .
Her name is Patience, very gentle, so kind and peaceful. I have never met anyone empathetic and understanding as my wife. We talk about everything, anything. She respects me and I am so proud of her. She does not manipulate me emotionally, she doesn’t give me the silent treatment anymore since the rape attempt. She feeds me good meals. She’s my other eye when it comes to double checking anything, so balanced, decent, and inspiring. My wife is a lady and I have had eyes for only her since we married. Because of her, I value our marriage and relationship above all else.”