I want my ex-wife back

His wife left him at the point he needed her the most. His life and dreams and aspirations had been turned upside down, and he had absolutely nothing. She walked, and continued with her life with such ease, as if nothing had been interrupted His divorce hadn’t been finalized, yet she found a safe haven in another man’s house. He’s wondered if she ever loved him in the first place. Today, things are better in his life, and she’s contemplating on coming back to her wifely duties.

Following is #MyChatWithHim

AJK: Good morning, David

David Bondze (DB): Hello! Good morning

AJK: How are you?

DB: I am doing alright. How are you?

AJK: I am fine boss. Please chat with me for some time.

DB: What’s going through your mind?

AJK: A lot.

DB: I can imagine.

AJK: And I don’t know if I am making the right decisions.

DB: What kinds of decisions have you made already?

AJK: A lot of foolish ones

DB: Let’s start with the first ‘foolish’ decision.

AJK: I want to take my Ex-wife back.

DB: Where did you go that you now want her back?

AJK: I didn’t go anywhere. She left me.

DB: She did?

AJK: Yes

DB: Why did she leave you?

AJK: I lost my job and couldn’t cater for her and our son.

DB: What is your status now?

AJK: Still unemployed

DB: And you want to take back the very same woman who has left you?

AJK: Yes.

DB: Why is that? What has changed in your finances?

AJK: A lot. A whole lot, Dave.

DB: Hmmm! How old are you?

AJK: 41

DB: And, how long were you married to your Ex-wife?

AJK: Seven (7) years.

DB: How long have you been divorced?

AJK: I never signed the divorce papers, so technically, we are still married. Though she moved on.

DB: Moved on how?

AJK: She’s living with another man.

DB: For how long now?

AJK: Two (2) years.

DB: I see.

AJK: Yes. And, pregnant for him

DB: Huh?

AJK: Hmmm.

DB: What’s your qualification? (Education-wise, I mean)

AJK: I stopped schooling when I was in my third year at the University of Ghana.

DB: Why?

AJK: I couldn’t afford the fees.

DB: Okay

AJK: Yeah, so I don’t have a degree.

DB: Each and their own. We learn differently, and the needed part of the process of education is gaining a better understanding of ourselves, and how we learn most efficiently. I know that schooling is often a vital step in our lives but the real education that makes us fruitful in life – takes place outside of the controlled atmosphere of a class room.

AJK: Yes, but my Ex-wife never saw it that way. She used to make me feel like an illiterate

DB: The illiterate of this century is not the man who cannot read and write… But the one who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn. You can read and even construct excellent sentences to engage me in a decent conversation.

AJK: Hmmm!

DB: Remind me again, why you want your wife back?

AJK: I never stopped loving her.

DB: I see.

AJK: Though she hurt me so bad.

DB: Her leaving you?

AJK: Not only that. She told me our child isn’t my own.

DB: Huh?

AJK: Dave, hmmmm

DB: When was this?

AJK: When I refused to sign the divorce

DB: Is the child your child?

AJK: Yes.

DB: How do you know?

AJK: He is my son. I know.

DB: How do you know?

AJK: Dave.

DB: How do you know?

AJK: I know.

DB: DNA knowing or just your convictions?

AJK: I love that boy. He is my son.

DB: Good for you. Hmmm!

AJK: Hmmmm.

DB: Have you told her you want her back in your life?

AJK: Yes.

DB: And?

AJK: She’s thinking about it.

DB: She said she’s thinking about it?

AJK: Yes

DB: In her pregnant state for this other man?

AJK: Yes

DB: Hmmm! That’s weird. What really has changed about you? Because, you are still unemployed, abi?

AJK: Yes.

DB: So, why would this same woman who left you because of your current state, now want to consider coming back to zero degrees Celsius?

AJK: I came into an inheritance.

DB: Continue …

AJK: I grew up with a single mother. I didn’t know my dad, but apparently, he knew about me. He passed on a few months ago, and named me in his Will.

DB: I see.

AJK: I’m rich, Dave. Very wealthy.

DB: I thank GOD for your life.

AJK: Amen.

DB: And, your wife knows about your sudden wealth?

AJK: Yes.

DB: How did she know?

AJK: I told her.

DB: Aha! It is now making sense to me.

AJK: How?

DB: You seem to be in love so you probably are not seeing what I am seeing.

AJK: What do you see?

DB: A true friend, a genuine person, a real woman, a trustworthy wife, wouldn’t help you SPEND your money. A true friend, a genuine person, a real woman and a trustworthy wife, will HELP you to make more money.

AJK: I know, Dave. But she was struggling when I was unemployed.

DB: Are you employed now?

AJK: No, but you understand the change.

DB: No! This is what I understand: This your sudden wealth is bringing back the woman you think you want.

AJK: Hmmm!

DB: Your struggle before this inheritance should have given you an idea of the kind of woman you need. If they stay with you because it’s good and comfortable for them, they are not meant to be in your life in the first place.

AJK: Hmmm! How about love, Dave? How about love?

DB: You think she loves you?

AJK: I want to believe so.

DB: But she left?

AJK: I know.

DB: Love does not leave when you need them the most. Love stays to help you figure things out. Love stays to comfort you. Love stays to help you live through the moment. Love stays to help you through it all. Love stays.

AJK: I know.

DB: Was she in contact with you?

AJK: Not really.

DB: But you made attempts to connect?

AJK: Yes.

DB: Now that you’ve hit the jackpot, does she communicate?

AJK: She just called to check on me.

DB: That was not ‘Love’ calling to check on you.

AJK: Hmmm!

DB: I know you’re thinking you would be starting all over again in a good relationship with her, but trust me, to her, it would only be another business transaction.

AJK: You don’t know her like I do.

DB: I don’t have to. Because she’s only coming back to you for just ONE thing, and it has nothing ‘Love’ in it. She’s showing concern now, because of what you’ve indirectly, made her believe could get out of you… Well, until everything runs dry again, and then history would repeat itself.

AJK: We would be old by then. I would have enjoyed the better part of her.

DB: You really love her.

AJK: You have no idea. Yes, Dave, I do.

DB: Money attracts a certain kind of people, but they are not always the right people.

AJK: I know.

DB: Tell me what you don’t know then?

AJK: Is this the right decision I am making?

DB: You don’t need to ask me that; ask your MONEY!

AJK: Oh, Dave.

DB: Yes!

AJK: Hmmm.

DB: My dad has a backyard poultry farm in Cape Coast. In fact, he voluntarily retired from his lucrative banking position, and also, as an economist, to farm: because he had always wanted to be a fulltime farmer. Funny thing is, at his age, he’s working even harder than he would have done in the corporate world. He is not doing this because he really HAS to, no! He’s farming because he WANTS to. He enjoys it.

AJK: I enjoy being with my wife.

DB: There was a phase in my Dad’s life that he had to become unemployed for two years. He had tuition fees of his kids to pay, he had bank loans to pay. He had his sick mother to take care of. He had a wife to care for. Mum didn’t have money. In fact, she had her own debts to pay.

AJK: What did your mother do?

DB: She stayed with my father, and labored for him to be comfortable at home. She sold her personal stuffs to make money to assist the house, took bank loans to aid my Dad in his responsibilities. Endured embarrassments for his sake, till he landed a new good job. Mum has no real school education. She didn’t go to the University.

AJK: My wife is very well educated.

DB: So, she had even a better chance to make a better choice. But she made a choice.

AJK: I want to forgive her.

DB: That’s good. I like second chances. I’ve given people second chances. People have given me second chances. Forgiveness is a great virtue to have. It’s not easy to forgive. I definitely don’t forget. But I do forgive.

AJK: What would you have done if you were in my shoes?

DB: If I were wearing your exact shoes, and my wife had left me for someone else with more money – because I am/was broke/unemployed, and for some Grace, I later strike it richer than the person she left me for, I wouldn’t regret losing her.

AJK: Why?

DB: Because it’s a blessing. Everything happens for a reason. Money may not have been sufficient for you then, but you need to know that, she was not RICH with LOVE for you. The love you are claiming to have for her, hers wasn’t rich enough to stay with you in your trying times.

AJK: But mine still is intact, for her. And, I love my son. I want to take care of them, for better or for worse. They are family to me.

DB: You are a good man.

AJK: I try. I really love my wife, Dave.

DB: I can see that. Love is not a ‘maybe’ thing. You know when you love someone.

AJK: Yes. Can you give an answer to my question please? Am I making the right decision?

DB: You inspire me, Sir. I’d love to see this kind of love for me too. So deep, it stands by its choice, regardless. So awesome, it fights for what is his and his alone. I don’t think I have had a true love story in my life – to give an honest answer to your question. Maybe that’s something I want to explore in the coming years in my own life first.

AJK: Can you ask your readers and followers? I want to be sure before January, 1, 2019.

DB: Yes please.


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