Is a man selfish if he’s involved with more than one woman at the same time? Is such a man greedy, and a liar, with no consideration for the feelings of the other parties? Can a man fall in love with more than just one woman and be allowed to love them both accordingly? – DBM
#MyChatWithHim
VY: Hello David. Good evening.
David Bondze (DB): Greetings! How are you?
VY: Good. How are you?
DB: I am doing alright, thanks.
VY: Cool. I know it’s late but could you indulge me, please?
DB: Sure.
VY: I’m in a very good marriage. Everything is going on fine. I need to make that fact clear first.
DB: But?
VY: Hmmm… But I want to try something else with another woman. I like this other lady, and I’d want to engage in something more than just friendship with her.
DB: You want to have an affair!
VY: Kind of. I like her very much. I really like her.
DB: So can’t you just like her like that without thinking of having sex with her?
VY: Can you like someone this deep and not have sex with them?
DB: I don’t know.
VY: I want her to be mine.
DB: And, whose are you?
VY: Dave, for my wife, she’s forever mine, and I, hers. This girl, I have no hold or claim over her except with our good friendship.
DB: And, friendship can’t be that good enough?
VY: I don’t want another man to come into her life and then break her heart at the long run. I can make her happy.
DB: So can someone better than you. There is a single man out there meant for her.
VY: Hmmm!
DB: Does she know you are married?
VY: Yes.
DB: And?
VY: She understands.
DB: Understands what?
VY: That my love for her has nothing to do with my wife. She knows I love my wife and kids.
DB: And she’s cool with you pursuing her?
VY: She will be cool. I know a lot of married men out there all wanting her attention, but she trusts me.
DB: I see.
VY: I will not hurt her in any way, and she knows it. She cares about me too, very much.
DB: Well, if you have it all figured out, why are we chatting?
VY: Her mother is my biggest problem.
DB: What has her mother done?
VY: Her mother is friends with my mother-in-law, and her mother stays with her. Her mother knows my family.
DB: Okay! So, do the right thing.
VY: What is the right thing?
DB: How old is this girl?
VY: 19
DB: How old are you?
VY: Thirty something.
DB: Smh!
VY: Hmmm. I want to help this girl. I want to help with her University fees and feeding money and other expenses. She needs assistance from someone who wouldn’t take advantage of her.
DB: What are you doing any different now?
VY: Come on Dave, my intentions aren’t to hurt her.
DB: And you can’t just help out of your good heart without having sex with her?
VY: She needs love, Dave. A mature man who knows her and would be there for her always.
DB: Does your wife know her?
VY: I don’t know. Not sure.
DB: And, how do you expect her to explain her closeness to you to her mother?
VY: She wouldn’t have to tell her anything. It’s just between us.
DB: Mothers are concerned about whom their wards are dating. How does she mention being in a relationship without your name in it?
VY: It’s not everything we tell. This is one of such.
DB: I see.
VY: Yeah.
DB: How does your wife feel about this?
VY: She doesn’t have to know about everything I do.
DB: And you love her?
VY: My wife?
DB: Yes please.
VY: Very much.
DB: You enjoy sex with her?
VY: Very much.
DB: She makes you happy?
VY: Lol! Very much. Why all these questions – if I may ask?
DB: I just want to understand how come one can have almost everything they want and still be looking out there for more.
VY: It is normal, Dave. It doesn’t mean I do not appreciate my wife. I do.
DB: I see.
VY: I am very committed to her.
DB: Yeah, that’s the bit I still don’t get. Because to ‘commit’ to someone in a marriage should be more than just a lip service. It ought to be more than just your proclamation of it before the Pastor who blessed your marriage on your wedding day. It might have begun there, but to commit is a daily something we do, or I’m missing something here?
VY: I get you, but I am still into my wife. That’s all I am saying.
DB: Sure! So you’re that much into your wife, that’s wonderful. My question is, is she still your number one priority?
VY: Yes! She is, so are my kids. My family is important to me, Dave.
DB: Why do you want to allow another woman to compete with your wife, who is your number one priority?
VY: It’s not a competition. This young girl knows her place in my life.
DB: What’s her place?
VY: Lol
DB: Smh!
VY: I contacted you because she wants to tell her mother about us. I am insisting she doesn’t, but she feels that would be lying to her mother about us.
DB: Are you already having sex with her?
VY: Lol!
DB: Okay!
VY: I love her.
DB: Okay!
VY: And I mean well.
DB: Okay!
VY: And it’s not a bad thing for a man to make love to the woman he cares about.
DB: Okay!
VY: Yeah! No two women are the same. She brings something different into my life.
DB: Okay!
Dave, i was in a similar position of this naive 19 year. She could be 19 and still immature about so many things. And at this age, she has alot of needs and would need support from others if she doesn’t get it from her parent “mom”. If Mr VY genuinely love this young lady, you would not demand sex from her but rather see to her to achieve her dreams through your financial support and protection. You should involve the young lady’s mom and your wife on your decision. You are not the only philanthropist in this world. You being a matured person should put a stop to the sexual relationship and concentrate on your happily ever after. Stop patronizing the young lady.
Hmmm! Well said.
This man paaa. Love isn’t just a word ooo. To love means being selfless. Not greedy, not self-centered. This man here is greedy and self-centered. He doesn’t want this young lady to enjoy marriage and have a life of her own. All in the name of helping her. If he truly means we’ll, he would have told the girls mom about it . He has found such a good woman in his wife and he’s misbehaving just because she is faithful and loyal . He should thank his stars paaa.. He has nothing to offer o Dave , he’s just going to waste the girls time. Playing the saint .hes nothing but a wolf in sheep’s clothing
Hmmm!
I dont really know how the judgement day will be like, but what I do know is that that statement: IT IS NORMAL, will condemn many men and women to eternal fire.
GOD have mercy on all of us.
This is really sad
It’s very sad
Men nd this lifestyle of theirs.they are never ok with wat they have .lord have mercy on Mr VY
Hmmmm!
We are always going to be who we are. The bond of marriage would never be enough to change anyone unless they want to. He wants this 19yr old, he just wanted to listen to to himself admit it by chatting with David. Wisdom is a way of life, you either live it or not!
This guy is funny….his problem is he helping this young lady only for another young man to come n “chop” in the future….3ne3 anka )noaaa b3di n’ade3.
Does anyone else get a feeling that Mr. VY will make the girl his second wife soon?
This guy is just selfish. He needs CHRIST JESUS in his ’empty’ life. He should do the right thing..yes! Because he knows what is best.
19 years and a lot of married men are into her? She needs prayers and she is old enough to understand that, it isn’t proper to be taking gifts secretly from a married man to even talk about dating and further sleeping with him. Unless he is saying terrible things about his wife to the girl or talking about a divorce. Men can make uo stories that would want you to wanna be like his saviour or have some kinda pity to date him. BUT If NOT and she has an ambition to make it in life, she would not accept any form of help from this man. She isn’t naive, she is as bad as the man.
19 years? please this is child abuse. How can you be sleeping with someone in the name of helping her. Mr. VY if your daughter was in a similar situation, how would you feel if someone is sleeping with her and helping her?
Please reflect the situation well and do the needful.
Oh this man is just selfish and greedy, How can you say your intentions are clear when you are destroying the life of a young girl in the name of helping her.
Men like Mr.VY are the reason why we have a lot of young ladies these days who think they can offer sex to get everything they want in life,after all those who claimed they loved them and even knew their families did not help them for free,so what is wrong with giving it to an outsider in return of a favour.
Hmmm this is sad,because it won’t end soon,After the adventure with Mr.VY she will continue dating married men who claim they care in return for money and this will this is going to ruin marriages. GOD HAVE MERCY!
Chale i want slap this guy. He is only trying to take advantage of the girl. How is helping someone translate into the person needing love as he puts it? His parents can provide that. If there is nothing wrong with what hes trying to do, he should allow the girl tell her mother about them.
Mr VY claims he means well….lol. when you are done with her and hiding behind your wife’s apron…wouldn’t you have destroyed her?
She would be so into you and you’d just pack out of her life.
You mean well indeed!