Is a man selfish if he’s involved with more than one woman at the same time? Is such a man greedy, and a liar, with no consideration for the feelings of the other parties? Can a man fall in love with more than just one woman and be allowed to love them both accordingly? – DBM
VY: Hello David. Good evening.
David Bondze (DB): Greetings! How are you?
VY: Good. How are you?
DB: I am doing alright, thanks.
VY: Cool. I know it’s late but could you indulge me, please?
VY: I’m in a very good marriage. Everything is going on fine. I need to make that fact clear first.
VY: Hmmm… But I want to try something else with another woman. I like this other lady, and I’d want to engage in something more than just friendship with her.
DB: You want to have an affair!
VY: Kind of. I like her very much. I really like her.
DB: So can’t you just like her like that without thinking of having sex with her?
VY: Can you like someone this deep and not have sex with them?
DB: I don’t know.
VY: I want her to be mine.
DB: And, whose are you?
VY: Dave, for my wife, she’s forever mine, and I, hers. This girl, I have no hold or claim over her except with our good friendship.
DB: And, friendship can’t be that good enough?
VY: I don’t want another man to come into her life and then break her heart at the long run. I can make her happy.
DB: So can someone better than you. There is a single man out there meant for her.
DB: Does she know you are married?
VY: She understands.
DB: Understands what?
VY: That my love for her has nothing to do with my wife. She knows I love my wife and kids.
DB: And she’s cool with you pursuing her?
VY: She will be cool. I know a lot of married men out there all wanting her attention, but she trusts me.
DB: I see.
VY: I will not hurt her in any way, and she knows it. She cares about me too, very much.
DB: Well, if you have it all figured out, why are we chatting?
VY: Her mother is my biggest problem.
DB: What has her mother done?
VY: Her mother is friends with my mother-in-law, and her mother stays with her. Her mother knows my family.
DB: Okay! So, do the right thing.
VY: What is the right thing?
DB: How old is this girl?
DB: How old are you?
VY: Thirty something.
VY: Hmmm. I want to help this girl. I want to help with her University fees and feeding money and other expenses. She needs assistance from someone who wouldn’t take advantage of her.
DB: What are you doing any different now?
VY: Come on Dave, my intentions aren’t to hurt her.
DB: And you can’t just help out of your good heart without having sex with her?
VY: She needs love, Dave. A mature man who knows her and would be there for her always.
DB: Does your wife know her?
VY: I don’t know. Not sure.
DB: And, how do you expect her to explain her closeness to you to her mother?
VY: She wouldn’t have to tell her anything. It’s just between us.
DB: Mothers are concerned about whom their wards are dating. How does she mention being in a relationship without your name in it?
VY: It’s not everything we tell. This is one of such.
DB: I see.
DB: How does your wife feel about this?
VY: She doesn’t have to know about everything I do.
DB: And you love her?
VY: My wife?
DB: Yes please.
VY: Very much.
DB: You enjoy sex with her?
VY: Very much.
DB: She makes you happy?
VY: Lol! Very much. Why all these questions – if I may ask?
DB: I just want to understand how come one can have almost everything they want and still be looking out there for more.
VY: It is normal, Dave. It doesn’t mean I do not appreciate my wife. I do.
DB: I see.
VY: I am very committed to her.
DB: Yeah, that’s the bit I still don’t get. Because to ‘commit’ to someone in a marriage should be more than just a lip service. It ought to be more than just your proclamation of it before the Pastor who blessed your marriage on your wedding day. It might have begun there, but to commit is a daily something we do, or I’m missing something here?
VY: I get you, but I am still into my wife. That’s all I am saying.
DB: Sure! So you’re that much into your wife, that’s wonderful. My question is, is she still your number one priority?
VY: Yes! She is, so are my kids. My family is important to me, Dave.
DB: Why do you want to allow another woman to compete with your wife, who is your number one priority?
VY: It’s not a competition. This young girl knows her place in my life.
DB: What’s her place?
VY: I contacted you because she wants to tell her mother about us. I am insisting she doesn’t, but she feels that would be lying to her mother about us.
DB: Are you already having sex with her?
VY: I love her.
VY: And I mean well.
VY: And it’s not a bad thing for a man to make love to the woman he cares about.
VY: Yeah! No two women are the same. She brings something different into my life.