I can’t deal

She has not become this tired and ‘out of it’ over this while without a cause. She felt let down by her husband because he really did let her down. She is disappointed by her husband because he disappointed her and the kids. She seems to be picking up the slack because her husband left all the mess behind for her to be picking them up, and she’s done! – DBM


YT: David, good afternoon,

David Bondze (DB): Good afternoon. How are you doing?

YT: Great, you?

DB: I am doing alright, thanks.

YT: I need your opinion. I am one of your very silent readers, but today, I want to talk.

DB: Nice meeting you. What’s on your mind?

YT: My husband and I have been separated for almost two years now.

DB: Okay?

YT: But his family thinks I am still responsible for him.

DB: Responsible, how?

YT: He packed out of our matrimonial home to rent a new place that he’s sharing with this other woman.

DB: Hmmm!

YT: Yes.

DB: I’m curious though…

YT: About what?

DB: What brought about the separation?

YT: I got to know about the other woman, and made a big case out of it with him. He started picking arguments with me because I disapproved of that behavior. He told me I was forcing him to make a decision between the two of us. I dared him to make a choice, and he packed out to be with her. They have a kid together.

DB: Do you have any? I mean, kids!

YT: We have two kids.

DB: Wow!

YT: Dave, we had been married for eight years prior to the separation.

DB: I’m terribly sorry.

YT: Oh, no! Don’t be, because I am not.

DB: Why is that?

YT: He’s been bedridden for seven months, I’m told, after an accident, and the lady he was living with has left him. She took their kid away. They need a home to place him for care and they thought I could make room.

DB: Oh, no!

YT: Now, his family knows he has a wife and are insisting I take over my duties.

DB: Did his family know about the separation?

YT: They did, I told his Uncles and brothers. His mother made attempts to talk to him but he wouldn’t listen. Unfortunately, his mother died last year. His sisters are dealing with their own family issues and wouldn’t involve themselves in mine. I don’t know what he told them about me – because nothing I said about his affairs made any sense to them. Probably because the men amongst them are messing up themselves.

DB: Hmmm! This is tough!

YT: Why is it tough?

DB: I’m putting myself in your husband’s shoes. I would need my family to be taking care of me.

YT: His family are the very people who sided with him. They are there.

DB: You are his legally, wedded wife.

YT: Oh, no. Dave, don’t play that game too. He moved out, and it’s been over two years.

DB: But you are still his wife!

YT: I am not. I erased that title out of my life two years ago. He’s on his own on this one.

DB: So, who is taking care of him?

YT: I don’t know, and I don’t care.

DB: Hmmm!

YT: Hmmm?

DB: You used to love this man.

YT: ‘USED’ to.

DB: You have kids with him. You can’t just leave him on his own like that.

YT: Another woman could do it to him, why can’t I?

DB: Because you are not the other woman. You are his wife.

YT: Do you know why I contacted you?

DB: Why did you come to me?

YT: I wanted to know from the legal brains on your platform whether I could file for an official divorce.

DB: Wow!

YT: I’m really out of it, Dave. My heart is out of this.

DB: Because he’s incapacitated and a ‘burden’ or you really have checked out of this?

YT: I checked out two years ago. I have these kids who are already a handful of work. I can’t deal with another unwanted responsibility.

DB: If he had not misbehaved, and was home with you and the kids, and had been bedridden, would you have pushed him aside?

YT: No.

DB: Why not?

YT: Because I would have been in love with him, and for love alone, I could have done anything. I don’t love my husband anymore.

DB: Are you angry at him?

YT: I am angry at the fact that, his family thinks I am supposed to be caring for him.

DB: How about your kids, how do you think they would feel – knowing you left their dad on his own to suffer?

YT: He left us to be with another woman. He left it to me to explain to our kids why he no longer stayed with us. He left, and I have closed that chapter forever.

DB: I’m really sad.

YT: I can understand. I just wish you could put yourself in my shoes instead.

DB: What if he dies, would you be able to live with the guilt of abandonment?

YT: David, I did not abandon that man. He did! And I have lived with that for the past years.

DB: You really feel nothing for him?

YT: I’m glad you are now getting the picture right. I feel nothing for him. Nothing!

DB: So, where is your husband now?

YT: At the hospital.

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