Ms. knows who she is. She knows what she wants, and would not waste her precious time with ‘state of affairs’ or men that do not fit into her model. The opposite indeed attracts. And most men would want to know on the spot, whether or not they are candidates. If it’s you she wants, she wouldn’t want you next week, next month or next year… She will tell you to the face, ‘I want to know you’.
Yeah, that kind of woman. – DBM
G: Hey David. How are you? I want to volunteer to have a singles open chat with you!
David Bondze (DB): Good evening. Sure!
G: Good evening
DB: How are you doing?
G: I’m doing well. Sorry for replying late. I’m just coming from the ‘loctician’s’. I went to crochet my locs. And I put my data off. It’s on now and I’m now seeing your message.
DB: So, you are free to chat?
G: Yes, David
DB: Great! Lol!
DB: How old are you?
G: 40. I know you’re shocked
DB: Nope! You this fine, young girl? No! I refuse to accept that age. Deduct a few numbers
G: Hahahahahha. I know. I think I stopped growing
G: No one ever guesses my age right.
DB: And you are single?
DB: For how long now?
G: Hmmm! That’s a tricky one, wow! Well, let’s just say I’ve not really been in any serious relationship for like a year now. But I’ve never lacked suitors so there’s always a few hovering around. I call them vultures! Lol
DB: Lol! And, why is that?
G: It was a choice cos I have standards and I stick to them, though there’s always some guy or other interested in me, I realize quickly they’re not what I want so I back out.
G: And I’m someone who is a one-man woman. I date one guy at a time, so if there’s no one I really fancy, I can be alone for a couple years. But this year I really got fed up with the games and nonsense so I just stayed off dating.
DB: Does it bother you sometimes that you are single?
G: Not at all
DB: I see
G: I’m too assertive and overly independent.
G: I get off of my own self. I’m too much woman! I orgasm off of my personality and everything I stand for! Lol
G: Hahahahhahahhahaha! I’m very African but also very open-minded that people always say I’ll have to marry a white man.
DB: Have you been in love before?
G: Well that’s relative. Sometimes you think you’re in love and later get disillusioned! But what I can say for sure is I move with how I feel and I only date guys I have strong chemistry with; someone I’m really really into. There’re a couple of guys I still think about even years after we broke up. Maybe I’m still into them. Maybe we can call it love!*wink*
DB: Share a past love experience
G: Hmmmm! Lemme try
G: I had an issue with MTN and I called them to rectify it. So the customer care lady transferred me to their technical team and I was told my problem would be fixed. The next day the technical guy (let’s call him AA) called me routinely (or so I thought) to confirm if my issue was solved. I said yes. Then he started calling and texting days later, asking me out! He was persistent but I was seeing someone at the time and I told him. But a month later I agreed to see him cos I had kicked my Ex to the curb! AA showed up at my house unannounced. He was that kinda guy! Within a couple of weeks, he’d met my family and we were dating! We did crazy stuff! *wink*!!!
But I realized he avoided showing me his house for months. He wouldn’t let me visit and he claimed he lived in Kumasi.
DB: Hmmm! That’s something
G: I went into his phone one time and saw he’d been sleeping around. Got some pregnant
DB: Oh, no!
G: And he had lied to me that I was the only one he was seeing.
G: I felt so stupid! And he was 45 years old. I found out he had Three (3) kids with 3 different women: 15, 10 and 2 years olds
G: I eventually broke up with him. It was very hard cos he was all man: Helpful and thoughtful and very generous. And I really needed a man like that! I still think about him!!!
DB: I’m so sorry about this unfortunate experience. Thanks for sharing it with me
G: Anytime. Thanks. You’re a good listener. Women love that!
DB: You talked about having standards: What’s your opinion on singles having certain standards to expect in a potential lover?
G: I think it’s very important to have standards, cos letting people in is a choice regardless of chemistry or whatnot. The fact that you’re attracted to someone doesn’t mean you should jump into a romantic relationship with them. You have to LEARN the person, know the basics of who he or she is, put aside all the religious rules and societal expectations. Be technical, use your head, cos attractions fade away quickly. When you know the person, you can tick off your list of standards as and when the person meets them, based on that then you can now move to the relationship stage.
You date first before you commit.
DB: I concur. How important is sex to you?
G: Very!!!!! … VERY!!!!!
DB: Hahahahaha. Lol!
G: I’m a very sensual SEXUAL being!!!
DB: I see
DB: Lol! Excite me!
G: I have a dirty mind! 24/7 in the gutter!
DB: Lol! Share a piece of that mind with me. What is the greatest SEEELLLLLLXXXXXZZZZZ you’ve ever had?
G: Oh wow!!!
The one that was so profound was with my then Cameroonian boyfriend (RN) when I lived in Europe for a while. Before I continue, let me say something: When you’re really into someone, sex is always magical, though I always say sex is an art – so of course, the technical aspect is key. But how many ‘porn-stars’ do we have, especially in Africa, where the sex topic is taboo? Even married couples can’t even express their love publicly, standing side by side like tin soldiers. Lol!
Anyways, so RN was very romantic. I hear these Francophone guys are wild and it’s true! RN would let me lie down naked so he just examines my anatomy from head to toe He wanted to know my body well so he could please me! One time he visited me where I lived and he left our DNA all over the place and every room, and climaxed in the basement with me bent over the sofa, and him hitting from behind. It was epic!!!!
Chale David, don’t let me spoil you this afternoon.
DB: Oh, Glory… GLory… GLOry… GLORy… GLORY!! Agh! GLORY!
G: Speaking of DNA, I’ve also left mine on a sofa in a very popular radio station in Accra. Whenever you sit in it please think of me!! Lol
DB: What are your thoughts about kids?
G: I love kids!
G: Their unconditional love is so…………….. No words mehn! They’re real
G: They drive you up the wall but are adorable!!
DB: Is there something about you that you are expecting to change?
G: You mean physically? Or personality-wise?
DB: Anything you feel you need working at
G: Let me ask you first: After knowing a bit about me would you want me to change anything? Be sincere!
DB: Honestly, not really. My only concern when it comes to you is, you open up so much about yourself to people you feel you trust or can trust. The first day I met you on my radio show, we were supposed to just say ‘hi/hello’ to bond. But you made me know so much about you in that one hour or so chit chat we had
G: Lol. I know right.
G: It’s therapeutic for me, cos way back, I suffered from inferiority complex and it took me a very long time to build my confidence and to love myself.
DB: I see.
G: I don’t mind people knowing who I am. It’s a trait most Ghanaians don’t have.
DB: You have a point
G: And I’m proud I can be 200% real without caring if I’m judged or not.
DB: I appreciate you.
G: And I wouldn’t change anything about me for anything or anyone! I’m a good person and that’s all that matters!
G: Also, don’t be surprised I opened up to u the first day. You’re a good listener and people like you attract women like a magnet! There’s something pure in you! You seem helpless and kind at the same time and every woman would want to be taken care of by you and also would want to take care of you. Get my drift!
That’s just by the way!
DB: How good are you at/with handling finances?
G: Very very good. I started a business at 13yrs!
DB: I see. Is the need for a free and alone time in a relationship, something you are okay with?
G: Yes. I need my ‘me-time’ paa cos there are things I enjoy doing by myself: writing, flirting with good looking guys (Hahahahahhahah!!), photography etc. My man and I can do stuffs together if it’s feasible but it’s not a must. It’s not fair to expect someone to fulfill your every wish in life. Let people breath! It’s smothering and it’s draining emotionally. We are dating and not Siamese twins! Even if you’re married, you should still retain your individuality! FOR BETTER OR WORSE IS A FALLACY!
DB: Ok, so here is the thing. I need to attend to an urgent assignment. Should take me about 45 minutes. Will ask my next question and return to continue this engagement
G: Sure. Ask away!!!
DB: Do you think house chores should be shared in marriage?
G: We live together. We should be a team in everything.We all have our weaknesses and strengths. So we should pull all together and build our lives together on that. Nobody should take anybody for granted. There’s no hard and fast rule on how a relationship should play out. Everybody should do what makes ‘the team’ happy and content.
Let me add: I don’t really believe in marriage cos it’s not the answer to a successful relationship. It’s how much both parties involved want the relationship to work, and also the work they put in it. That’s the answer!!!
So if we’re creating the mess at home together, it makes sense that we both clean it up, or get paid help! So I guess it depends on our standard of living and our pockets too!
DB: Hmmmm! Interesting response. I saw the ‘I don’t really believe in marriage’ bit
G: Lol. Marriage these days gives people the excuse to do all kinds of unthinkable, unprintable things to people they claim they love!
DB: I get you. How stuck are you with your job, and what would happen if you got fired one day, while married?
G: I don’t work for anybody. I’m building careers on my hobbies.
G: I’m my own boss.. On the side we do a family business. So I’m good! But if someone ‘dashed’ ME a million dollars I won’t reject it!
DB: I see
G: I was expecting u back in 45 minutes. Ae you done with your assignment? Or I’m too exciting to be away from even for a minute! Hahhahahahha. *wink wink* !!!!!!
DB: I am multi-tasking. Lol!
G: A man who multitasks! My eyes have seen my ears! Hahhahahhaha!
DB: Lol! Are you comfortable with the idea of your future partner being close to/with others? And at what point would you assume an emotional affair?
G: If my man is a people’s person he should be free to be himself. On the other hand, if I met him as an introvert and later he becomes overly friendly, I’ll find out why cos that could be a sign something’s wrong or NOT. Everything is about communication so I’ll talk about it.
G: One thing I’ve always said is, you can’t force someone to commit to you alone even if you carry his dick around in your handbag. Let people choose whom they want to love. This goes for the man too; let your women be who they want to be!
DB: So true.
G: Relationships are not prison sentences! People choose to be with whomever they want and can walk out if they can’t do it anymore. It’s ALWAYS their CHOICE!!!
DB: How relevant is the upkeep of physical appearance in a relationship?
G: Very VEry VERy VERY!!
DB: I see
G: Foreplay is very important to me: kissing and cuddling is more important than sex, and exploring each other’s body is a no-holds barred operation. So my partner and myself gotta be clean and neat: from behind your ears to your bellybutton to your breath (don’t get me started on that one!) to your armpits and to my favorite!! THE GENITALS. I’ve realized that those guys who like blowjobs are the ones who don’t keep their penis and testicles neat at all, wearing a boxer for two weeks. WHO DOES THAT? Keep your body healthy, keep fit, exercise. What you wear on the outside AND under your clothes are equally important! No smelly shoes too!
DB: I see
G: And the ladies, don’t wear a weave for 10000 years! Aahba! Keep your Veejayjay neat. Forget those creams and shit. Do it the natural way. Exercise and stop piling makeup that can be scraped off of your face with a shovel. Less is MORE! Make staying healthy a lifestyle and you’ll always look good. I always say you’re as old as you want to be!
DB: I am as old as I want to be.
G: Lol. There you go!
DB: Do you forgive easily?
G: Let’s say I’m very understanding cos I’m open-minded. But I hate to be disrespected, so that I won’t compromise on. I will give you enough rope to hang your own self. I’m a ‘cancerian’ woman; sensitive yet strong… So I feel a lot, very passionate. I wear my heart on my sleeves.
DB: Hmmm! I see
G: But when you realize you’re wrong and remorseful, I can let it go, but when I’ve had enough, I’m out for good!!!
G: What do u see? Tell me
DB: I see the you inside of you that makes you stand out and not blend in
G: I stand out alright, like an erected penis!!! Ooops!!!
DB: Lol! Hahahahaha. What is your understanding of LOVE?
G: I think there’s all kinds of love but the basis of all is pure unconditional affection for a person or a thing. And expressing it is when action comes in, especially when you’re dealing with another human being you claim you love, cos they’ll only understand it when they SEE it. And women being emotional creatures, we respond to what we hear, and men, by what they see initially. So in relationships, there should be a balance of visuals and words. And since everyone wants to be loved differently but might not meet someone who can do that, we tend to compromise. We all want one thing though, and that’s to be loved and respected by someone. And that can be done if we LISTEN and learn to READ. The signs are always there.
G: And love is to be ENJOYED and not ENDURED. Know the difference between someone who is just different and someone who is bringing pure bullshit! FLEE from that! This brings me back to what standards you’re looking for in a partner. Do your homework well.
G: Do I shock you sometimes with what I say? I doubt it cos you’ve heard plenty things… but humor me!
DB: I enjoyed this chat with you, really! Thank you so much for sharing yourself with all of us. You’re BEAUTIFUL
G: I’m blushing here! Thanks for the compliment and also for the opportunity to express myself. I admire what you do. You ROCK!!!!
DB: Awwww! Please make it your best day today
G: Thanks! You too! Be safe.