I am plus 11 years in my marriage this week. We have four lovely monsters terrorizing us in the name of children. I used to think being single was the best feeling in the world, coupled with the fact that I was young and fresh too. Dave, there was freedom to size them all up and change them daily. I wasn’t struggling in the ladies department. I met a chunk of them, slept with a chunk, in fact, over and over.
At age 37, I wanted something more. The fun wasn’t always fun. I needed a deeper connection. The complication in my situation was all the women wanted a deeper connection with me. They were all perfect but I didn’t know which one to choose. My hardest challenge was the day I decided to search for a wife. Everyone I was attracted to was a potential. I got confused because I wanted them all. Looking back, I wasn’t prepared for that phase in my life.
I had this joint I bought fried yam and pork. It was an afternoon of a weekend. I was hungry so I got there to buy some. The little girl was asking the seller a lot of difficult questions and she spoke brilliant English. I was impressed. I was wondering who she was when she turned my direction. My puzzled look made her smile at me. She waved and smile. She runs to a lady and they held hands as they walked the route. After buying my yam, I could see them still walking. I drove to where they had reached to offer them a ride.
The little girl started to laugh and her mother joined her in the laughter. I didn’t understand what was going on. I joined them to laugh at me. When they sat in my car, the girl told the mother, it’s him. She had a dream a month prior to that day, that a man had waved back at her at the pork place and followed them to offer a lift. The man later married her mother and they lived happily ever after. She reminded her mother of the dream and out of the blue, I was in love with her mother.
Dave, I have been asking myself how my journey with my wife and her daughter all happened so quickly. I usually date my women and sleep with them to be sure I liked them in bed. In this case, that did not happen. I found a step daughter I could thrive with from a conversational standpoint. My wife is the total opposite. We thrive in silence and strangely, it works for us. In all these 11 years, I have come to appreciate my quiet moments with Mrs.Bediako, way past the urge to flood the air with conversational filters.
Dave, it has never been awkward for me. My love for her is what does a lot of the talking in my actions. Something that has change about me is also the need to make things right between us all the time. I don’t want to let her down. I don’t want to disappoint, disrespect, cheat or keep secrets. I don’t want to betray her trust. I don’t want to lose what I have. Eleven years of being the one to always say I am sorry even when I have not done anything wrong.
Dave, I don’t look for an apology from my wife because I don’t want her to stress about winning me over. I feel that’s my job as her husband. This woman has changed me completely. At work, she is in my mind. At home, I want to see her everywhere. Is this what they call being in love? Is this what love looks like? Is this a good or a bad change? My siblings and parents complain. Dave, I am happy but I feel others aren’t glad about this. What do I do?