Hello Dave, How are you doing? I want your opinion on an issue.
My mother has been telling me about her boyfriend. I know my mother, and I know she is in love with him. I was happy for her because she had given up so much for my sake. Every money she got, she pushed into my education and wellbeing. She made sure I lacked nothing. I am 26 years old and she is 44.
She had me when she was 18 years old and people sometimes mistaken us to be sisters. We look alike in every way and she is not growing any older. The problem is that she had lunch with her man for the formal introduction, and since then, he exchanged numbers with me in my mother’s presence. He’s suddenly beginning to like me more than a future step father should.
He calls and texts so many times in a day, sends me money when I haven’t asked for it, buys me gifts almost every week. I was getting worried so I told my mother about his numerous gifts and she said that’s how he is: “he is very kind,” she said.
I don’t think my mother was getting what I was driving at and I didn’t want to ruin the moment, so I kept quiet. He visited me at my house without telling me or informing my mother. It was late, so I felt very uncomfortable. While at my house, my mother called and he lied about his whereabouts. He told her he had gone out with his friends. Then he told me he loves my mother but realized how much he would rather date and marry me instead.
He is sleeping with my mother yet wants me to think about his proposal. He says he can explain things to my mother and come up with a decent breakup just to be with me.
Dave, I don’t know if I like him that much, but I like him, he is every woman’s dream: handsome, mature, successful, intelligent, gentle, and rich. I don’t like him because of his money. I like him because I want the same joy I see in my mother when she talks about him.
The relationship I have with my mother is something I don’t want to ruin. She’s been by my side through thick and thin. He is 45 years old; he has a son but wants more children. His fear is, my mother may not be able to have three more kids at her age. He has also promised to take very good care of my mother should things work between us. Do I tell my mother first or I should let him do the telling?