She was looking forward to spending that special moment with her man, and then, there was the surprise. Joke was on her again. How she managed to open up to this whole new chapter of love is what you are just about reading. – DBM
I have loved, and loved deeply, many times, with my whole being. Not a single one of my Exes can dispute this fact. I gave them my heart and everything else there was to be given in love. And prior to meeting this man I am about to talk about, I had been in serious relationships with over Six (6) different men, who all pulled the surprise card on me at the unexpected hour:
They got married to different women, some, they didn’t truly love – but had to choose them because they present better opportunities they felt, wouldn’t come their way if they had been with me. Some married into rich families, married someone residing outside of Ghana, to travel overseas, married to get certain job placements/offers, one impregnated another lady and had to marry her, etc).
In all these experiences my heart flicked over and crushed. I tried to endure but it wasn’t easy for me at all. So when this seventh (7th) guy came my way and started to pursue an idea of a relationship, with me, I had to take a step by step journey, so I could enjoy it as a casual thing for the while. He gave me some time to assess whether or not I was actually ready to be with a man again or if I could just be ready to have really hot sex with him in his house, once in a while. I wasn’t ready for sex, so I chose friendship.
After about Four (4) months of being his friend, he insisted on meeting with some of my friends, and even family. He wanted to be friends with my friends. And when I brought this guy home, my mom suddenly started paying more attention to him than she did to me. When some of my friends started asking him to hang out even when I was not available, he made time for them.
Everyone in my circle believed he was a keeper. He helped me trust him with my heart and would do anything to make me happy, and vice versa. He made sure he made efforts to understand my weird fantasies and desires, and, loved me even more for them. David, he accepted me totally and completely. I was 44 years old then.
It was through him that I came to understand that, everyone has someone out there who is “The One” for them. And, it’s not a myth, it’s very real. So, it doesn’t matter what your past or present may be looking like. Just make sure not to lose hope because he or she is out there, just waiting for you to find them.
He asked me to move in with him eventually, and I did. I had fallen in love with him too. He changed me into the person I believed I was meant to be. He awoke parts of me that I didn’t even know existed in the first place. He brought out a side of me that somehow, made me feel more complete, more at ease with myself, and also, the happiest and most fulfilled I had ever been.
After being with him for over a year, I felt I needed to raise the ‘marriage’ conversation. I brought the subject up for discussion, and he was interested in talking about it… Only, he wasn’t sure he was going to be getting married to me. He and his Ex-wife hadn’t legally divorced, as he had made me and my parents understand. Apparently, they had separated, and because he couldn’t stay alone and be crying and worrying, he chose to be with me instead, to offload all of his frustrations and fears.
And true to his word, he had packed all of his belongings from the house when I got home that day, with a Taxi I had chartered.
I didn’t have enough money on me that day, so I was going to get the fare from my bedroom to pay the Taxi driver, when I came to meet his absence. He moved back to his matrimonial home, and then, left me a note to vacate the rented home after staying there for an additional three months.
Prior to his vacation, his rent had three more months to expire. My only luck was, I had my own apartment I had bought with my hard-earned money.
That was the last I heard from him.
I stepped into the bedroom, and just locked myself in. I forgot all about the Taxi driver and his money. I forgot the main gate and the front door weren’t all locked. And, it was around 8:30 PM. I couldn’t stop crying. I heard the Taxi driver calling, “Madam, where are you?” after probably waiting outside for God-knows how long. He heard me crying from my bedroom, and couldn’t help but to climb upstairs to come knock on the door. I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to, or even see the face of anyone. I wanted to be left alone – to cry.
I fell asleep and didn’t bother about anyone else but myself. That morning, I heard a knock on my bedroom door again. The Taxi driver shouted that he had prepared breakfast and left it behind my bedroom, assuming I got hungry. He told me he was going for town riding, and that, he would return in the afternoon to check on me. He told me he had left the main doors’ key on the dining table. I watched him open the entrance gate from the window of my bedroom, drive out and lock the gate. He kept the gate key on him, till he returned that afternoon, also with fast food and Ice cream.
I had already eaten the breakfast, and washed the plate. He left the lunch again, behind my door, knocked to inform me of the food, and then went town riding again. That evening, he prepared me food, left it behind my door, knocked to inform me, and then left for his home. This routine continued for 47 days. I put my phone off. I didn’t step outside of the house nor go to work. The Taxi driver did not see my face or hear my voice for all those 47 days, though I ate all his meals.
On the 48th day, he left me breakfast as usual, before leaving, but this time, with a note attached. “You’ve still not paid the money”.
I thought it was funny, and cute at the same time. I left his money on the serving tray that afternoon, when he returned. I wrote a note of thanks and asked him not to be cooking for me anymore. He took the money, and then left me a fast-food, for lunch. He knocked on the bedroom door to inform me before leaving. That evening, he prepared me Jollof, left it behind my door. That wasn’t all, he had attached the note my Ex left me, plus his own note:
‘I’m sorry about everything happening to you. I have gone into a new, two-year rent arrangement with the estate owners. You can stay for two more years, and I will be here, always, cooking for and checking on you. I have been praying for a woman like you, for a wife. You made me laugh a lot in the car. You are intelligent, and seem to have an amazing heart. You don’t have to lock yourself in the bedroom because he left you to be with his wife. There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs.”
That evening, when he returned to come cook for me, I had already prepared a meal for him – with the ingredients he had bought the day before. I locked myself inside the bedroom when I heard his car enter. For the first time in days, he did not return to his house that evening. He came to thank and praise my cooking skills, and then slept in one of the rooms. The following morning, he made me breakfast, and left. I warmed something up for him to eat when he returned that afternoon with fast food. He had also bought a lot of food ingredients and items for the kitchen.
I prepared Banku and Okro stew for him that evening, and ate with him in silence, in the dining hall for the first time. That evening, he promised never to leave me to be all by myself. He promised me his love and friendship and commitment. I cried. I couldn’t say a word that evening. I just kept quiet, and shed tears – while listening to him.
I had heard all those sweet words before in the past. But I hadn’t heard it from him. I was hearing it from him, and it sounded like the truth, just like the rest.
I’ve come to understand that, all those men came into my life for a reason, a season, or, looking at my current status, for a lifetime. No matter how good, or how painful a role they played or are still playing, they taught me something, something that has revealed itself to me at some point. And this goes hand in hand with the notion of ‘everything happening for a reason’.
While there were unpleasant lessons that happen, they are lessons nevertheless. I have been open to the pain and difficulty, to be truly open to what it was/is I was supposed to gain from the experience.
I know, it can be hard at times, to think in terms of everything happening for a reason, but it can also be helpful. Whenever we are going through a predominantly trying time, it can be very comforting to think that there is a reason to this, and there will be a use for what you are going through this very moment.
Dave, in this Taxi driver, I found someone who could let me live and love me at the same time. I thought he was worth hanging on to. Oh, and my husband just happen to own 11 more Taxis, he’s employed drivers to work with, in Accra. I am helping him build his Taxi and Trotro business. We have a kid together, after we married.” – From SM Oppong