Having My Babies

You’ve been happily married for a while now and you had been trying to conceive without any luck. Your tests turned up relatively normal and you were being told that you should be able to conceive, yet you seemed to be failing. Then you got introduced to intrauterine insemination (IUI), IVF, ICSI and/surrogacy which in a way, offered you a bit of hope. The fact that you could potentially have a child.

Inbox/Share your unique experience through IUI with me. I’d want to know about your journey to childbirth: the highs, the lows and the eventual smiles when your baby was placed in your arms to breastfeed. – DBM


“Hello David,

Interestingly, l have been considering sharing my journey through IVF with you and your readers. l thought maybe someone out there would be encouraged to give it a try. I was 26 years old when l met my husband. He told me in tears, and directly to my face, that he cannot and will never be able to have kids of his own. It hit me like a bomb, however, something about his honesty wouldn’t let me say ‘no’ to him.

I am a Ghanaian, and so you can imagine how I was going to get married without having kids of my own. I could not bring myself into talking to any of my family members, so l confided in a male friend of mine who told me to go ahead and say ‘yes’ to him, because according to him, there had to be another way to conceive.

We got married and l moved to Europe. The pressure of having kids started coming. It was so bad l avoided calling family and friends in Ghana. I was tired of the question “are you pregnant?” l didn’t even come home when my father died. That was how bad it was, David. I didn’t have it easy during the first three years in Europe. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, which made it impossible for me to be pregnant, assuming my husband was even sterile.

l did about four major operations within two years, and all that while the pressure was still on me (from family in Ghana) to get pregnant. Three years later, we decided to do IVF through an anonymous sperm donor. God being so good, it worked at the first try. Our baby girl was born.  Two years later, we tried again but it failed. l almost went crazy… I mean, the self-torture I had to subject myself to (i.e.: injecting myself daily for weeks in the stomach with hormones, the nausea and the terrible headache I had to go through. Not forgetting the financial burden of it.

We did it again for the third time and it worked. We have the most amazing and beautiful children anyone in the world would wish for. My husband loves and adore them with his life. And yes, his mother and sister are aware that the kids are not his biological children. They were opposing the whole idea of us using a donor but now they have come to love the kids. I have heard people say it’s kind of ‘playing God’ but l disagree. God showed us a way to accomplish a desire.

l will forever stand for IVF, IUD or Insemination. Thousands of families are still happy and complete because that is how God chose to bring those kids into existence .and l will recommend it and defend it anytime anywhere. One thing l would rather add to my story is, no one should ever borrow money to go through this process. Because should it not work out after everything else, it would be very difficult to pay back such borrowed monies.” – From LB

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