#MyStory

Finding Esi

“My marriage to my wife comes first. Esi is the most important thing in my life; more important than my children, more important than work, more important than my parents and siblings, more important than my friends and love for football and the gym. My marriage to my wife trumps them all. She’s placed me above all else too in exchange. She doesn’t take me for granted at all. My wife knows how to dress and keep the home tidy. She stocks the house with so much food and essentials needed for the home. She doesn’t know how to cook, so I step in to help with that. I am very involved with the home and raising of our children, I hardly get any spare time to think of cheating on her.”Joe

#MyStory

“I want to share a testimony about my wife. This might be long but please publish it for me on your website. I want our daughter to read about her mother when she’s 15 years old.

They were five girlfriends at the restaurant. They had gone out to eat and have fun on one’s birthday. I saw them when they entered, laughing and making fun at themselves. They were making noise. To be honest, Dave, my wife was the least attractive. And she was very quiet and just smiling and chipping in conversations. She was dark, slim, tall and very simple. Her girlfriends, on the other hand looked good at first sight. Very gorgeous young ladies with assets behind and before them.  I had finished eating and was resting my mind.

One by one, I saw corporate men, very handsome and ostensibly, well to do guys go make a pick out of the girls to buy them lunch or chat with them. Four different guys picked the four beautiful girls from the group, and left my wife all to herself. I was looking at her face and I saw the uneasiness and sadness written all over her. I walked to her table to buy her a meal. She declined, but I insisted. I wanted to chat with her. It wasn’t because she hadn’t been chosen by the other men; it was because I noticed she wasn’t like the other girls. She was simple and quiet. She had a fresh smile and looked well-mannered.

Talking to her that minute made me realize how so similar we were. She could be funny, she was smart and intelligent, very soft spoken and gentle, she made me feel happy and lucky to have made a move on her. She was brave, which was almost a nonexistent quality in a lot of women those days. She could easily understand what I was about because, as I said, we were so similar. Dave, I felt I couldn’t have dreamed up a better woman if I tried. When she excused herself to go home, I followed and tapped her on the shoulder by the roadside and said,

“Audrey, you did not mention anything about seeing someone, but if you are not, I am interested in you. This is my phone number.” I had already written it on a piece of paper, so I gave it to her and left.

Days that followed after our first unofficial date were simply lovely. I could just sit and chill with my wife without needing anything else. I did not need sex to validate my feelings for her, I did not need to spend to validate my feelings for her. I did not need to say so much or lie to exaggerate to convince her of my feelings for her. We clicked without needing to do so much. We spent a lot of time knowing ourselves, 8 months, I think, and I just never got sick of knowing her. She valued the friendship and I valued who she was and meant to me.

We married in 2011.

She got pregnant and died in the process of our first child’s birth. Instead of being happy that I at least got the baby, I cried and cried, because I felt I had lost it all. I had inadvertently overheard that my wife had died when I rushed t to the hospital from work that afternoon. Dave, I could not fathom that my sweet lovely wife could be gone so quickly in two years of knowing her. I didn’t know what I was going to do without her. I was consumed by this short-lived fear and mixed emotions, that I could not even remember I had been blessed with a baby girl. The news of my wife’s death changed my life forever.

The day I found my courage to walk out of the hospital with my baby, I knew I was going to be the best father in world to my princess. I have made a lot of mistakes parenting my daughter solo, but the lessons learned are for a gain. I wake up every morning knowing my daughter is going to be there, right next to me.

When my daughter was 4 years, I found a piece of paper in the pocket of the dress my wife wore to the delivery ward; my daughter had brought it to me to have a look at it. She’s used to that, always picking things randomly at home to give to me to look at. I remembered that dress and all of a sudden, felt emotional. I was searching the pockets to see what I could find. The note read, ‘If I do not return home with your baby, allow Esi to raise her with you. I trust her with you and our baby.’

I did not know who Esi was. I knew the names of her best friends. I did not know of any Esi. I searched on her phone and diary, there were no records of Esi. I asked her girlfriends if they knew of this other friend of hers, no. Two of her friends who are married wanted to nurse me and the baby with their breasts, but I was searching for Esi. I had to find Esi. None of my associates or contacts was that name or even friends with my wife.

It had been a rough day at work, so I was trying to sleep it off for a while at the office. I was dozing off when a voice woke me up. It was almost time for our partners’ meeting and I had to get ready. I went out for fresh air when I saw her standing alone under her shed, ‘Esi Fante Kenkey’. My wife used to make me buy her kenkey for the house. She became friends with my wife because wife used to pick me up after close of work. I have three cars but she would rather drive me in hers to and from work. I felt so lucky being chauffeured by my sweetheart. Esi’s kenkey for mashkey was the bomb. I couldn’t remember her name because I did not have her number. We only related when I was at work.

Esi was a single mother of two when I started paying attention to her. She’s a mother of four kids now, and my beloved wife.

Love with Audrey came so easy when it was fresh from the restaurant. I felt emotional whenever I was with her the first time till the end. Love with Esi is a choice. I chose the Kenkey seller with just an SSCE Certificate. And it was a decision based on my maturity level. I have made Esi’s happiness in our marriage more important than my own. The trust she has for me is nurtured every morning. She’s grateful for all that I do for her and the children. She’s generous towards me and the children. There is this strong affection between us that has improved our sex life.

My marriage to my wife comes first. Esi is the most important thing in my life; more important than my children, more important than work, more important than my parents and siblings, more important than my friends and love for football and the gym. My marriage to my wife trumps them all. She’s placed me above all else too in exchange. She doesn’t take me for granted at all. My wife knows how to dress and keep the home tidy. She stocks the house with so much food and essentials needed for the home. She doesn’t know how to cook, so I step in to help with that. I am very involved with the home and raising of our children, I hardly get any spare time to think of cheating on her.

I don’t think I deserve anything else better in a woman out there. That department has already been occupied by my wife. I realized I was in love with my wife, 2 years after marriage. The first 2 years was a decision I took to be nice to her and like her. I made the choice to love and fall in love with her two years later, and it’s been the best decision ever taken.”

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