It was your mother who advised me to walk out from the marriage. And after I ended things with you, I had the opportunity to rethink everything that I thought I knew about love, and even myself.
And your mother was absolutely right; I shouldn’t have allowed myself to stay married for that long because it was preventing me from finding real happiness with a new man. We divorced when I turned 42, but it has improved the quality of my current marriage.
Hi Dave, my letter is in two parts. Part 1 is addressed to my ex-husband Harold. Part 2 is to every woman reading. Harold made me believe he was the best thing that ever happened to me.He made me believe there was no guy out there who is faithful to just one woman.
He made me believe I am the reason for his change in attitude and affairs. He made me believe I had it good with him, so I should shut the fuck up and manage.
He made me believe I was at the mercy of his love. He said no man would love someone like me with children. He took all the beauty out of me with his words and actions.
Harold’s mother used to tell me, divorce is not a bad thing. It can be good credential to upgrade to. If you know who you are and who you belong to, you will not be ashamed to leave a man who cheats, and does not respect you.
All you have to do is to know what you want in the next man, and pursue a relationship if he is the quality of love you want. That woman is patient with herself.
I learned to be patient with myself and took all the time I needed to make the right decision before walking out. I did not look back because I believed I deserved better.
Before I agreed to marry my current husband, I did not have a type in mind. With Harold, I wanted his type tall, dark, handsome, financially sound, educated, drives a new car, and lives in a nice house. He was the perfect package before we married.
When I started to unwrap my gift after the honeymoon period, he wasn’t my type anymore.
It was too late; I had spent 6 years and had 2 children with him. It wasn’t easy to back out. But thanks to his mother who had lived in similar problem with her son’s father, I found my own strength to finally leave.
I don’t wear the same clothing style as I did when I was in SSS. So why would I have the same taste in men?
My ideal type of man had evolved. This time, I wanted someone who is important to me, with beautiful qualities that best complimented mine. That’s how I met husband number 2.
No woman should settle for less than their expectations of happiness, just to be in a relationship. There is a good man out there if what you have now is not good enough. I am 50, and I had not known happiness in marriage until I met Kwame Boahene.