
Ordinarily, when you make up your mind to want to settle in a marriage with someone, the last thing you probably would think about is whether or not you’re going to fall out of it. He started his journey from the end. He never really laughed or enjoyed being around her in the first place. Time spent with her meant absolutely nothing to him, yet, made time spent with her – mean something to her.
He doesn’t love his wife. He never did. – DBM
#MyChatWithHim
MJ: Dave, I’ve been lying to my wife
David Bondze (DB): Lol!
MJ: Oh!
DB: Lol!
MJ: But why?
DB: Tell me which husband isn’t?
MJ: Hmmm
DB: Good morning to you too
MJ: Good morning. Sup?
DB: I am doing alright. How about you?
MJ: Cool. I don’t know how to tell my wife the truth about anything
DB: We all lie every now and then
MJ: No, mine is that bad
DB: How bad?
MJ: This bad: I don’t believe I am in love with my wife. I don’t think I love her, but I used to tell her I loved her. Once in a while I tell her I love her, but I don’t.
DB: Ok… That’s pretty bad
MJ: She’s not beautiful to me, but I have told her she is
DB: Hmmmm!
MJ: Am I okay?
DB: No!
MJ: Dave, it’s killing me
DB: Why is it killing you?
MJ: Because I feel like, I’m wasting her time
DB: I see
MJ: Hmmm
DB: Kids?
MJ: Yes
DB: How do you feel about them too?
MJ: I love my children very much. Would lay down my life for them any day
DB: But their mother?
MJ: Not sure I care. I pretend I care when I am home, but I have a feeling she’s seeing through me.
DB: That you don’t care?
MJ: Something like that. I love the way she takes care of my children. They love her very much
DB: And, how does that make you feel?
MJ: I just smile at the sight of it, that’s all
DB: Do you see her efforts towards the marriage and the home?
MJ: Home, yes. She tries to keep everything in order sometimes. Marriage, I don’t know. It’s never been a serious thought
DB: Why did you marry her?
MJ: That’s the same question I have been asking myself
DB: Do you have sisters?
MJ: Why?
DB: Because I would want you to imagine a similar thing being done to your biological sister by a brother-in-law
MJ: I know I have a problem, that’s why we are chatting
DB: Why did you marry your wife?
MJ: I’ve told you already, I do not know. Maybe I assumed she would be a good mother to my kids
DB: Why did you assume that about her?
MJ: She looked the part
DB: Smh!
MJ: I’m being honest, bruh
DB: I appreciate your candor. Is there ever a time you genuinely feel attracted to her?
MJ: Sex. Lol
DB: The sex is good?
MJ: Yep.
DB: And after the sex?
MJ: Back to square one. She’s just like any other girl I’m f**king
DB: Hmmm. You practically just answered my next question
MJ: I’m hitting it out there, yep!
DB: What do you want me to do for you? Because as it stands now, I can only suggest you see a therapist. I know a few good ones I can recommend.
MJ: I want to know from other guys if it’s normal, you know?
DB: It’s not normal; even I know that. You don’t do that to someone’s child, someone’s daughter. You don’t do that.
MJ: I know, Dave. But it’s already done. What do I do? I sometimes go out of my way to make her happy or meet her need. I’m not entirely bad news
DB: So, you are happy with making little sacrifices for her?
MJ: I didn’t say ‘happy’. You are saying it
DB: Would you put off a day for her?
MJ: Like, how?
DB: Like, she’s seriously sick and needs you to assist in taking care of her instead of going to work. Would you be totally cool with that?
MJ: I wouldn’t mind, why not? Nipa nua ne nipa!
DB: What makes you want to help her sometimes?
MJ: My children. I think about them, I think about how she’s trying to bring them up well, and I sometimes feel empathetic
DB: I don’t think I have had a chat like this before.
MJ: Divorce is something I have not considered either.
DB: Why not? You don’t love her. Why are you still keeping her around?
MJ: I don’t know. Maybe, for the kids’ sake.
DB: And, when they are no more kids?
MJ: I will divorce her
DB: She would be how old by then?
MJ: Hmmm
DB: Who do you love?
MJ: My kids, my siblings, my parents, my buddies
DB: Oh, GOD!
MJ: I don’t love her
DB: Oh, GOD!
MJ: I don’t love her, Dave. I don’t even know how to try
DB: Do you believe in love?
MJ: Towards those I have named above? Yes
DB: I see
MJ: Hmmm
DB: When I tell you that, ‘I do miss you’ I’m not saying it because I feel it’s just one of those cute, catchy phrases. If I tell you, “I miss you”, then I really do – even if it’s only an hour apart. It’s a real ache that confirms you’re indeed, a big part of my life.
MJ: Ok… Lol
DB: Who do you miss?
MJ: My children, my buddies
DB: I see.
MJ: Yes
DB: When I am in a committed relationship, my partner would be the ‘something good’ I would want to think about, should everything else feel off or go bad. Should a job be driving me nuts, my consolation at the end of the day should be, having a beloved at home/somewhere who would be available to me to cheer me up. Please don’t tell me your ‘children’ BS again. WHO is your ‘something good’ when nothing else seems to be making sense to you?
MJ: Rough sex with any of my girlfriends, or going home to my children.
DB: Wow!
MJ: Truth
DB: Are you for real?
MJ: I don’t love her.
DB: My partner should be my ‘personal’ person. Who do you go to FIRST when something really great or terribly, horrible, happens to you?
MJ: One of my buddies, or the chicka that f**ks me crazy, to f**k the hell out’ta my system
DB: Whom are you not worried about scaring off?
MJ: I don’t get the question
DB: I mean, whom are you comfortable enough to show your weaknesses to, or cry in front of – and feel alright?
MJ: Any of my chickas
DB: What is ‘Chicka’?
MJ: Girlfriends
DB: Do you love any of them?
MJ: I like being around any of them
DB: Do you think you like your wife?
MJ: I like who she is. She doesn’t give me headache always.
DB: Do you like your wife?
MJ: I like her, for my kids’ sake, I mean, I have to like her for this to work?
DB: What is that ‘this’?
MJ: She’s caring for my children and the home.
DB: Is she not caring for you?
MJ: She is
DB: And, is that not good enough reason?
MJ: Dave, what do you want me to say?
DB: That your wife’s sacrifices are not in vain?
MJ: They are not in vain. My kids will grow up knowing what it means to be loved by their parents
DB: That her love for you is not in vain?
MJ: I made a mistake leading her on into believing stuffs.
DB: That’s all?
MJ: I do not love my wife. I’ve never loved her, but I like her. I like her right now
DB: Because of the kids?
MJ: Yes
DB: Seriously, you are one of the painful chats I’ve ever had
MJ: Hmmm
DB: Do you understand her?
MJ: Always
DB: Why always?
MJ: Because I don’t want any wahala
DB: Do you respect her?
MJ: Very much. That’s why I am keeping anything that would hurt her feelings away from her. I play dirty outside, and return home clean.
DB: Do you accept her for who she is?
MJ: I accept anyone I feel I can gel with
DB: I’m talking about your wife
MJ: I’ve answered the question, Dave
DB: Do you enjoy talking to her?
MJ: Sometimes
DB: Do you feel invested?
MJ: Like?
DB: Like not wanting your investment in her and the marriage/family to go waste, or that feeling of failure
MJ: I don’t know
DB: Do you feel that she accepts you?
MJ: She doesn’t know me. My wife doesn’t know this truth about me. She’s probably accepted me for who I’ve presented myself to be for her to love.
DB: You need to be honest with her
MJ: About what?
DB: The way forward
MJ: When my kids are 19 or 20 years old, I will tell her the truth
This is really bad
When your kids are 19 to 20years that’s when you would tell her the truth that you have never loved her? So she doesn’t get to be with anyone else to at least enjoy her old age? …Such wickedness. Stop wasting her time, allow her to go back into the world and fly…..
Very sad and evil.
Damn!! This s crazy charle
Am very sad for this man. He is not interested in his wife because of the numerous cheating. Sexual sin is deadly, it kills spiritual, physical and emotional attachment for your spouse. Stop cheating and everything will fall in place.
Many marriages are destroyed because of infidelity. The moment you start, you partner becomes less attractive and gradually you will be drifting apart.
Everyone must take note of this. If you want a successful marriage, don’t have extra marital affair because it will ruin your family.
These are my suggeations:
1. Confess your sins to God for forgiveness
2. Go to your pastor for deliverance and cut ties with all your infamous girlfriends.
3. Commit yourself to intensive fasting and prayers
4. Turn your love from friends, and siblings to your wife by staying home with her on weekends, holidays , play with her and the kids.
4. lastly, man , excuse my language “mature”, if at this stage you can’t share your emotions and frustrations with such a wonderful woman but your parents , then , you need to sit up. There is something wrong.
Never ever in your life make a mistake to divorce her, because , you will regret one day. May God be with you.
Pastor, please kindly read again as he is interested in her because of the sex and it could be said that, she might have been some of the girlfriends he had and her sex was the woooow and she settled down with.
He even mentioned that, when he clicks you then he goes on with you.
Your wife knows you don’t love her. Don’t deceive yourself. I doubt thT you are happy so make it right, and enjoy the rest of your life with this woman.
I’m crying now.
Hmmmm is not easy dear.
You could feel the lady’s sadness even though she doesn’t know what is going on.
😢😑 am sad reading this
If only we could see through the heart of man!
Is he for real…….
I don’t know what to say or feel within after reading.
I just want to imagine how the wife will be when she and him are out walking.
The way he is able to mention out his “girlfriends” without shyness and fear is what way.
Hmmm some men dey ooh 😐😢