#MyStory

Deliberate Love

“Thank you for walking out on your ex. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my girlfriend. Thank you for being my wife. Thank you for being the mother of our children. Thank you for the beautiful meals you cook for me every day. Thank you for the great, and sometimes very boring sex. Thank you for asking me to marry you. I knew I was going to marry you somehow, but thank you for making the process even quicker. Lol! Thank you for accepting and loving me just for who I am. Thank you for helping me the best way you could whenever I needed help. Thank you for making me a happy and a better man. Thank you for staying alive for me to be enjoying this relationship with you.”V M

#MyStory

“My wife was engaged to be married in three weeks when I met her. A friend had invited me to his friend’s bachelors party, which we were supposed to be drinking and dancing only, but no, boys had to add an extra mint at the last minute to last a lifetime. The groom-to-be and his groomsmen had arranged female escorts to be tapped.  I found out that day, also that the woman the groom was with, in the other room, was his second favorite girlfriend, and had to have the ‘last supper’ before tying himself in marriage to my wife.

The friend who invited me was married and I had discovered in years was a cheating cunt, so I really wasn’t surprised when he took one of the ladies to his car to fuck. My wife came to the venue in a taxi with a friend, and caught her fiancé in bed with another woman. So, before she left the place, she came to hide under the tree I was seated, and cried. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I didn’t know who she was, and I didn’t know why she was crying. I found out later she was the bride-to-be. Wedding was cancelled.

Three months later, I joined a group of friends to go to the beach on Easter. I saw my wife marking class work on the beach. She looked calmer and way better than the first time I saw her. I recognized her immediately, and so I introduced myself. She didn’t have the faintest idea of who I was. I reminded her of where I had seen her and she stopped smiling all of a sudden. “I am not your ex’s friend. I am a friend of one of his friends. I was just a guest.” I defended myself. She wore her smile back at me. That was when I knew I had a chance. I told her I was going to marry her someday. Lol! Yeah! I had to register before she gave her attention to someone else. Lol!

We became friends for five months and I’d want to believe, dated in those months too before deciding to tie the knot 11 years ago. I discovered something amazing about her: She knows exactly who she is and is never afraid to let it show. With her, there is no hiding behind any fake persona. When I am with her, what I see is what I get. She gets my wacky jokes and still thinks I am funny. If only most women would know how important this is to a man… I was in a difficult place in my life when we started being friends. Things were tough, but my wife was in my corner, always encouraging me. She lights up my life with warmth and grace. When I hold her at night, my body automatically relaxes and my heart, slows in its beat. I feel very safe and at home in her company.

The best things in our relationship has been what we don’t do. She leaves me be when I need my personal low times to unwind. She has very strong and well-informed opinions. Our decision making conversations are always on point. She’s well researched and would argue a point based on evidence alone. She knows how to talk me into thinking or trying new things. There’s so much about this woman that brings out the best in me. I practically have been waking up in the mornings, always with the choice to love my wife like never before. Staying faithful to her has never been a struggle, because it’s my conscious choice to want to honor her.

I choose respecting our relationship and the woman I am in it with, over following the crowd to be shady outside and then, pretending to be good on the inside. Once every week for the past 11 years, I have reminded her of how much I love to be her husband everyday of our lives together. I believe in all this because she’s worth loving that much. And I tell and show her my love. I do something about it and it’s working for me. She’s always on my mind when I am not home, always in my heart when I feel alone anywhere. I tell everyone around me how much I love my wife, well, it comes out of me naturally. I will be drinking with friends, and they would be flirting or talking about other women, and then out of nowhere, “I really miss my wife”. Lol!

I would be at work; a pretty intern or secretary enters my office to report on something, and right before she leaves, shakes her ass intentionally in my face. I pick my phone to call or text or read an old conversation I have had with my wife, and then everything is aligned in my body for the right reasons. I am always together with my wife in spirit when I am not home with her. And in my case, familiarity has bred love and not contempt. We were on the beach with her parents, barefooted, wearing Khakis. She had gone to fetch something from the car – when I asked her parents’ consent to marry her in about, four months. She returned to ask me to marry her in the presence of her mum and dad. My four months’ agenda had been cut short. I had the perfect proposal plan to execute but she ruined it by asking me to marry her instead. I did not want to respond because I always felt a man had to do the proposing, but her dad said something to me that I have never forgotten,

“Always err on the side of saying YES!”

Honey, thank you for walking out on your ex. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my girlfriend. Thank you for being my wife. Thank you for being the mother of our children. Thank you for the beautiful meals you cook for me every day. Thank you for the great, and sometimes very boring sex. Thank you for asking me to marry you. I knew I was going to marry you somehow, but thank you for making the process even quicker. Lol! Thank you for accepting and loving me just for who I am. Thank you for helping me the best way you could whenever I needed help. Thank you for making me a happy and a better man. Thank you for staying alive for me to be enjoying this relationship with you.

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!”

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