#InboxMessages

Deliberate faithfulness

Dear David Bondze-Mbir, I am smiling to myself because I am also sending you my story. I have been married for 16 years and all through the years, I have been faithful.

I haven’t been always this decent. I used to know what was up. I lived it many times before meeting my wife. I didn’t know then that love was supposed to be a kind of covenant.

My Dad always cheated on my mother and tried many times to lie about it or make my mother believe it was all in her head. But we all saw through him even though my siblings and I always wanted to be on his good side.

We pretended it was between our mother and him but Mr. Dave; we knew and knew he had changed. When I married my wife, I took those sacred vows to heart, our love, trust, commitment and respect for each other was something I deliberately wanted to mean something to me.

They were more than just words. I have been tempted many times to betray or cheat on my wife, very beautiful and fun women I could have been with but I couldn’t.

I want to keep my words to my wife. I want to let my vows to her count and not just throw it out to the wind like my Dad and most married men are doing today, where their love have lost its meaning. I value the mother of my children. I greatly respect her and her trust in me. My commitment to her simply takes priority over all other benefits and commitments.

For example, my recent temptation came from my close friend’s wife. She wanted to be loved and seen in her marriage like how I do with my wife. She has explicitly told me she wants to be my side chick. She wants me to love and fuck her with no strings attached. She is such a beautiful woman but I couldn’t, not because she was my friend’s wife, but because I have put my relationship with my wife in the spotlight.

My wife is important in my life so I told her I would only consider her offer after talking to my wife about it and knowing what she thinks of her offer. She asked me not to talk to my wife and that was the end of the temptation. I am unable to be unfaithful in my marriage because I know we are very different from each other. We both were raised differently.

We are moved by very different things and feelings. And we can never take each other’s emotions and needs to fulfill our needs. She gives me my space to grow, know and understand her. I do same for her. I have never used her weakness or shortcomings against her or made it an excuse to meet a need she is not giving at home out there.
My wife is my new found sexual excitement if I want that out there in a different woman. My wife is my new found love and romance if I want that out there.

She is my emotional intimacy. I am blessed because of these conscious decisions I make every day. My wife makes the effort to please me. I do same because we know we are in this together as a team. We see our marriage as a semester examination given us by God. We don’t want to disappoint and not score high in his marking scheme.

We want to score an “A”, at least 95 per cent when the trumpet sounds.Dave, you are doing a great job, don’t stop.

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