What is your bigger picture mentally – when you look at the man or woman that you love? Do you sweat over small stuffs when it comes to him or her? How attentive are you to everything happening around you? Would you know if your spouse changed? Would you change back on them? Have you ever taken the time to genuinely, listen to your spouse’s unspoken words or deeds – and not saying anything at all to raise unnecessarily suspicions? – DBM
David Bondze (DB): Hey!
EK: You good?
DB: I am doing alright. How are you doing?
EK: I saw your post.
DB: Which of the posts?
EK: The one you made about me on Facebook.
DB: Oh! Okay! You read the comments?
EK: I did. Interesting questions some were asking.
DB: Yeah! I thought so too.
DB: Dzifa wants to know how you met your wife.
EK: Legon campus. I was in my third year when she started Level 100.
DB: How was she like when you met her?
EK: Simple but classy in a way, decent, funny, smart (from the way she talked), beautiful. When I got to know her very well, I fell in love with her organizational skills, her sense of humor (it was on point. Never a dull moment with her around). She helps naturally. She helped me a lot.
DB: Helped you how?
EK: Oh, with my assignments and thesis: she encouraged seriousness in me. I became serious with my studies. She was there for me – for the most times I had no money or food to eat. She would cook for us.
DB: Faustina wants to know why you married her.
EK: We were so much in love, and I didn’t see why not to settle down in marriage with her. She bought out the very best in me. We understood each other. There was respect between the both of us. We loved each other’s company. We talked about marriage and we were excited about it together, for us.
DB: Laura’s question is, did you have any doubts about her before pursuing marriage?
DB: I see.
EK: She earned my trust. She earned my love and respect.
DB: Amani wants to know if you married her a virgin.
EK: No! We were sexually active on campus. And, I wasn’t her first. She had an ex before me.
DB: Do you have any kids?
EK: We have two kids.
DB: Millicent wants to know if you provide for the needs of the family.
EK: I do. I make life very comfortable for us. When I got my first job after school, I was the one taking care of her in school: from her feeding to hostel fees. That’s how our relationship has been. We are there for each other if the other is in need.
DB: That’s nice to know.
DB: Elijah wants to know if you’ve cheated on your wife before.
EK: I have, but I put a stop to it. The affairs happened whenever I traveled. I felt alone and couldn’t stay faithful, unfortunately.
DB: And, how long have you been married?
EK: 12 years in September.
DB: She knows about the affairs?
EK: Not that I know of.
DB: I see. Anyways, Awusi wants to know how you got to know your wife is/was a prostitute.
EK: I lost my job, and I had used all of my savings on our sick child. My wife had stepped in to take the role of taking care of us until I got my current job. I took an amount of money from our joint account to pay off something, and she switched on me.
DB: Did you two talk about that money for such payment?
EK: It was an emergency. I intended to inform her later that day.
DB: How much money was taken that day to pay off that emergency?
EK: 7, 000
EK: But I have paid it back to her.
DB: You said she switched. How?
EK: She passed a comment that got me worried. So I put a recorder in her car for a few days- to record conversations had in her car. Especially, phone calls.
DB: That’s wired.
EK: She arranged dates for her clienteles on phone, in the car. She talked seductively to different men, sometimes, on speaker. And the things they would talk and laugh about… Very disgusting. I am very disappointed in her. I always bragged about knowing her like the back of my hand, because she made her life seem that predictable to me. I feel very stupid right now.
DB: I’m terribly sorry.
EK: I am very disappointed in her.
DB: Ojuelegba wants to know if she’s always out at night or midnight.
EK: My wife trades in the day. She meets her customers before coming back home to us.
DB: What work does she do?
EK: She’s an Actuarist.
DB: I see. Ojuelegba also asked about her income.
EK: My wife is an Actuarist. She makes a lot of money. However, she used to tell me about bonuses from work that I felt were very questionable. She has a personal account of 65, 000. She still thinks I do not know about that hidden money.
DB: Just as you also think she does not know about your affairs.
DB: Dela wants to know about your HIV/STI statuses.
EK: I am negative. I’d want to believe she is negative too.
DB: I see.
EK: I really love my wife. I mean, my affairs aside, she’s still the woman I am comfortable giving my heart to.
DB: And, how does that justify anything?
EK: Well, it’s my truth. I’m not a bad person, Dave.
DB: What did you use the GHs 7, 000 for?
EK: I impregnated one of the ladies I was with. Her family insisted I married her or paid their daughter, 7000, for her to agree to aborting the pregnancy.
DB: So she aborted it?
DB: I see. You mentioned your wife passing a comment that got you thinking. What did she say to you?
EK: We were arguing about the money I took from the account because I couldn’t give the actual reason for the withdrawal. And she said, if I did not cough her 7000 back to the account, I’d have to also go through the painful process of always having to sit on warm water to heal.
DB: That made you think she’s sleeping around?
EK: Prior to that statement, we had both accidentally met at a hotel. She was coming out of a room, and I was entering into another with a lady.
EK: She walked by me without asking a question. It was as if she did not even know me.
DB: Your wife is game.
EK: I’ve not been the best of a faithful husband, but a woman stooping that low? Come on! I hope you get what I mean?
DB: No please. What do you mean?
EK: Never mind.
DB: And what happened that day?
EK: I left the hotel to the house.
EK: She had left chips in a plate for me to eat for dinner, and had gone to bed.
DB: I’d want to believe LOVE changes people. Love should change you – if you’re genuinely, that much into someone. Love ought to change you for the better and best.