“I am not comparing the way I loved my late wife, after all those years we spent together creating beautiful memories and also, being there for each other through the good times and the bad, but this woman I have been married to for 20 years – has something else that instantly, connected us the moment we exchanged eye contact in my bedroom that first day.” – OJF
“I am my wife’s first marriage. She is my second, and I’m certain will be my last. I am nearing the big ‘50’ and all I can think about right now is how meaningful life and love has been since meeting this lovely woman. I lost my first wife a year after our wedding. She went to the labour ward and never returned to me alive. I was not prepared for the assault the loss of my first wife had on me. It was painful. It was unreal. I was dead from the inside though people thought I was handling the tragedy maturely. My late wife was my dream girl. That’s why I married her. We had known each other for 7 years, so you can imagine the grief; history, memories, friendship, stories, hopes, companionship, dreams, all buried under six feet.
It was too much for me. I wasn’t dealing with it alone though, my family and in-laws came around often to check on me. They had been all hit by the loss. I had wrecked my car, two weeks after the burial, and had to be taking taxis and trotros to work. I had closed from work one evening, and was seated at the far back corner of a troski. I didn’t know what happened but I fell into deep sleep, and I remember waking up talking to my late wife, all alone. Even when I was conscious of my surroundings in the bus, I could not stop talking to myself. Then I started crying. I just wanted her back.
The lady seated next to me, who now is my wife, held my hand, and offered her chest to me to cry on. Those firm, rounded, tiny breasts, held all my tears for over 15 minutes throughout the journey. I soaked her blouse with my tears and saliva. She wrapped her loving arms all around me and… Hmmm! I loved that moment in her arms. She alighted with me and ensured I got home safely. My mother was then at home, caring for the baby. When she was about to leave, mother asked her to stay if she wasn’t returning to anyone. I was climbing the stairs to my bedroom when I heard my mother ask her to cook my favorite meal for me. All the ingredients needed were in the kitchen. Mum asked her to change into any of my late wife’s clothes.
I found the whole ‘mummy-stranger’ click strange but I did not have enough strength to argue. When she knocked on my door to tell me food was ready, wearing a blouse I recognized buying for my late wife, something instantly connected me to exchange eye contact with her for the first time. She smiled at me, walked towards me to touch my shoulder. She then held my hand and helped me up on my feet to the dining hall. She left after I was done eating, and I never saw her again for almost seven months. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Mother wouldn’t stop pressuring me to go find her from wherever. I did not know her name. I had no contact information.
I started aching for her as the days went by. I asked the universe for a sign and got an idea. I went to the bus station I boarded the bus. We had queued that day, and so I knew exactly where to start my search. I left a specific message to the book men – to be delivered to the bus drivers and their mates. They had to just announce it anytime a bus was full to the hearing of all passengers:
‘The lady who walked the widower home and left with his late wife’s blue dress, the mother of the man wants you to visit home again.’
I paid over 5 million old Cedis, now 500 ghc. And, it was to be shared among the mates and book man. According to my wife, she heard the announcement made on three different nights, and she couldn’t help but smile to herself anytime she heard a mate announce before taking off. She also mentioned seeing me one of those evenings at the station, searching for her. She described the shirt I was wearing that particular day, and it was true. I was there in that shirt that day. But she hid from me. A month after the paid announcement, she showed up one weekend, wearing the blue dress.
Mum was home too… I have never let her go since. Of course, I am not comparing the way I loved my late wife, after all those years we spent together creating beautiful memories and also, being there for each other through the good times and the bad, but Dave, this woman I have been married to for 20 years – has something else that instantly, connected us the moment we exchanged eye contact in my bedroom that first day. We did not date. We started talking about a possible relationship when she showed up. We married in less than a year. We have three more kids and everything is as sweet as when I was crying on her chest. I cheated on her twice, something I am not proud of but I haven’t repeated the mistake since 12 years ago. The little things she does for me helps me keep my head in the commitment.”