And then, I saw her!

As Priebe wrote,

“The right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards. The right people don’t make you hmm and haw about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know… That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.”


“Dear David,

How are you doing this morning? It’s rather unfortunate that my beloved wife is now learning how to read and write well. She can make attempts at speaking and writing the English language, however, she’s just not there yet. I would have loved for her to read our story. Dave, the world stopped fighting for my wife long ago. She had to rely on herself, in order to pave a path on her own. Some women are fierce beyond their means, simply because they were raised by warriors to be nothing but queens.

My wife is the queen of my heart.

She was selling vegetables and other foodstuffs by the roadside, with her mother. I was attending the burial service of a friend’s grandfather in a village, and I saw the craziest grasscutter ever, being sold by my brother-in-law, also by his mother’s shed, by the roadside. I hadn’t eaten grasscutter in years, and the size of it – made me park my car, to inquire about its price. The price he was quoting was clearly overpriced, and we were bargaining when his sister joined in to my defense.

She asked her brother to be fair and reduce the price. Her brother got pissed and asked her to return to her vegetables and leave the ‘Men’ to talk ‘money’. She wouldn’t mind him. She kept insisting he was overpricing the grasscutter, and that, she could show me another guy who sells his at a reasonable price. My wife’s attitude reminded me of something my mother used to tell me, that, men who think women belong in the kitchen, obviously did not know what to do with them either – in the bedroom.

I hadn’t even taken notice of her. My attention was on how to get the animal in the car. Then, we agreed on a price we could both deal with. My wife actually did the final negotiations on my behalf, and then asked if I wouldn’t need fresh tomatoes and garden eggs, etc. for the soup. She sold plantain and cassava too. In fact, I had a one-stop shop at their shed, to prepare Fufu and any soup at all. She asked where I was going. I told her, and then she offered to dress the animal, so I could pick it up on my return to Accra.

I did not like the idea, because they (wife, mother and brother in-law) didn’t look that ‘clean’ enough to hand over my bush meat to them. I almost declined, when my wife asked whether or not I had a woman back home to work on the animal for me. I gave her the benefit of a doubt and entrusted my meat in her care. I thought I was going to leave the funeral grounds on time, so I could rush to take the meat away, but I ended up staying the night at the village, to help my friend out. I later got to know, my wife had stayed by the roadside till dawn, with my brother-in-law, waiting to hand over the meat.

I got to their shed the following day, in the afternoon, and it was my mother and brother-in-law there. I got to know that my wife was preparing groundnut soup with my meat at home. Brother-in-law joined my car to show me where their home was. The soup was actually on fire when we arrived. I explained my inability to make it on time, but she wasn’t bothered at all. She just smiled and assured me that, all was forgiven. The aroma of the soup was to die for.

That is my favorite soup at home now. She was preparing the soup in very clean utensils. They actually looked brand new. I heard her brother joke behind her that, she was preparing my soup in the very utensils she had saved money to buy – to someday, use to prepare meals for her future husband.

I saw my wife turn to ‘eye’ her brother to stop those expensive jokes. That was when I think I really ‘saw’ my wife. I felt something tickle inside of me when she gave her brother that look. My wife is the kind of woman that some may choose to love, some may just want to admire, others may envy, and of course, some may hate. But none ignores! I mean, she has so much influence.

She insisted I stayed longer so she prepared Fufu for me to eat. I agreed! I couldn’t think twice on this; I found her to be very attractive at that moment, and wanted to spend a few hours around her. Her brother pounded the Fufu, and we all ate the delicious meal. She packaged the remaining meat and soup in a brand new plastic bowl with a tight cover, to take to Accra. I drove them to the roadside, and my mother-in-law was served with her Fufu and soup, and she was all smiles.

Leaving those three behind was one of the difficult decisions I had ever had to make in life. I liked them all of a sudden. I liked them, really, that much, that I was wishing they would invite me to spend the night. I knew it couldn’t have been possible either, because I had to go to work the following morning.

I asked for my wife’s phone number, and we started our ‘knowing me and knowing you’ on phone, the moment I drove off. I got to know I was two years older than her. I was 37 years then. She had up to JSS 1 education, and had to quit to help her mother sell, after her father’s demise.

Dave, I traveled every weekend afterwards, to see her and the family. And I was always greeted with Fufu and groundnut soup. Her mother practically ‘donated’ her daughter to me, as a gift, to take away with me to Accra. The joy on her face whenever she set her eyes on me was indescribable. She loved me that much to want to see me every weekend.

One Saturday, my wife gave me an empty snail shell she had used to prepare soup for me. It was nothing, but I loved it. It’s on the center of our dining table at home today. That empty snail shell was her love language to me: that she cared for me.

Dave, a strong woman just needs to be loved strongly. That’s what I learnt from my association with my wife. She was home-sense smart, and being smart and strong is the new sexy. My wife loves relentlessly. It’s just her way of being. She is love, and love is her mightiest strength. We had known each other for just three months, and for the first time in my life, I was contemplating on settling down with a woman I hadn’t known intimately, nor fit into my ‘ideal’ taste and choice of a woman. A woman I just saw on weekends, and talked on phone all day.

Sometimes, all a girl wants is for you to fight for her. By just making her understand that – you want that relationship as much as she does, regardless the distance or closeness between you two. That was all my wife ever wanted. I hadn’t even officially asked her to be my girlfriend. We were just flowing with, and appreciating the love tension between us.

I used to think every woman (well, at least, from the kinds I dated before meeting my wife) wants money, cars, and gifts. But my wife made me see a different kind of woman in her: that the right woman only wants a man’s time, effort, passion, smile, honesty, loyalty, and him choosing to put her at his priority.

I visited one weekend, and opted to cook for her. I did not know how to cook anything, however, I was bent on learning how to prepare soup under her tutelage. She guided me through the entire process of preparing groundnut soup, and after eating that afternoon, I asked her to marry me.

We have two kids, and she’s preparing to write next two years’ WASSCE.

My wife has made me the kind of happy, that when I lay in bed at night today, I am just like, ‘WOW! Who even knew that this could be possible!” – From E A-Mensah

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He saw, he shook, but stood