Abena is his serendipity. A woman he did not have to really search or look for. She was not part of his list of qualities, rather she is just a person, like any other woman, but of a difference. That made him realize she was ‘The One’. She appreciates all his flaws, though she does not tolerate them all. She is his inspiration and motivation for him to be a better man. She uses patience and not force on him, because she realizes that good things do take time, that difficult things also do take time, and that the seemingly impossible things take a really long time to be better than new. -DBM
“David, I greet you. I want to share my love story with you as you requested on your wall. Before I got married to my current wife, I had just been divorced and was nursing my wounds – which was caused by the divorce. As I said, I had married for nine years and everything seemed normal until I had an opportunity to study outside the country. It all started after three months of my travel. My then wife started complaining that whenever she gets a lift from a man she gets a lot of compliments that ‘she’s beautiful’, and when she told them that her husband had travelled, they would propose to her.
I advised her to desist from announcing my travel and also stop accepting lifts from men. She works with one of the security services and also does a private business. When the scholarship came I had less than two weeks to travel so I gave her an amount of money to add to her working capital so that she could take good care of my children. I however added that in six months’ time she would have to take some amount out the money to pay for my certificate in Ghana, of which she agreed.
On the day I was travelling, her only message was that she knew me to be a hard working guy, and so if I went, I would do some part time job and send her money. When I informed her that students were not allowed to do any kind of job, that was when she started telling me that story of men complimenting her. Dave, I was a branch manager in one of the financial institutions in Ghana, but the stipend I was taking monthly hardly met my personal expenses – so I told her to try to make some SUSU so that by two years’ time she’d be able to get me a ticket to come down for my research work.
She told me to choose another country for my research because her money, “doesn’t buy tickets”. I brushed over it but the reality dawned on me when after six months I had to tell her to go and pay for my certificate. She bluntly told me she would never give a dime of that money to me. Within some few days she was calling for divorce. All attempts by me, my relatives, and friends to talk to her to rescind her decision proved futile. She finally sent my drinks as custom demanded and dissolved the marriage in my absence.
My mother who pleaded with her to come for her drinks for over three months became shocked and fell ill as a result. This woman neglected my children to accept compliments from men. She gave out my daughter who was just three months old when I was travelling, to live with a woman she had never known, and took my two boys to a boarding house where they were the only boarders in the school. She did all these without my knowledge and concern. My daughter developed a boil on her buttocks, which due to neglect generated into cancer before she got her admitted at the hospital, and brought her mother from the village to take care of her at the hospital.
She only informed me when it became critical. She told me the doctors wanted some money for drugs so I begged her to take a loan from their employee welfare so that I would pay her when I returned. but she refused with the explanation that, the doctors said her chances of survival was 50:50. I managed to get an NGO through a friend, who were ready to sponsor but this woman and her mother run away with my baby girl from the hospital without the knowledge of the hospital authorities, which led to her death.
My mother also died three weeks before my daughter. Dave, you can imagine how devastated I was abroad. With time, I put everything behind and started looking for love again. I needed a woman who would love me in the poor state I found myself at the time. But any woman I told my story to was not interested.
I used to work with my current wife in one of the financial institutions. And whiles there, she was my friend but nothing was between us. I used to relay my reports to her since she was responsible for that at the head office. At times, I would speak harshly to her on phone when I was frustrated but this woman was always calm with me. That attitude of hers made me like her and we became friends.
Anytime I attended a meeting at the head office we were always seen together chatting. Many people even called her my wife but as I said, ‘we were casual friends’ because I was married by then. I used to advise her on how to meet a potential husband, since she worked from Monday to Saturday, and would hardly meet new people. Whiles looking for a new wife, I had even forgotten about her being single. I was one day going through my WhatsApp, when I saw her contact and said ‘Hi’ to her.
We started chatting and I asked her whether or not anybody had taken her from me. The answer she gave me nearly gave me a heart attack. She was like ‘’body no be firewood’’. In fact, I started shaking thinking that I had missed the opportunity. I knew her very well not to be the reckless type, so upon hearing that, I thought she had found someone already. I told her that I had planned to go and see her parents when I returned. She then asked me, “for what?” I also asked her in return, “if a man wants to meet a woman’s parents what is that supposed to mean?”
Then she told me that it couldn’t be possible because I was married, and so we should remain as we were. So I asked her how we were. She said we were friends. Then I asked her again whether I have ever told her anything of that sort? She said no, and so I asked her again, why she was not asking me why I was telling her all that, but rather insisting it couldn’t be possible. She came back to her senses and asked me why, and then I narrated all what had happened to me. I told her if she was still available, I would want her to be my wife.
Her next question was ‘’why her’’. I told her because I needed a wife who would double as my friend. She then asked me when I was planning on coming back. I told her in a year’s time. Her next answer was ‘’I will wait for you’’. To be frank with you, I was speechless and didn’t know what to say again. We started talking about ourselves and planned everything before I return to Ghana. I spoke to the father and all arrangements were made. We got married two months after returning to Ghana for my data collection, and God has blessed us with a bouncing baby boy called Emmanuel.
My confession is that, she has been my ideal woman God has delivered to me at the right time. She should be rest assured that I will be there for her as she was there for me when things were on the reverse gear. Sweetie, you have shown me that true love exist. May God be our strength as we embark on our love journey! I promise to never forget even a single thing that you have done for me. In fact, at a point in time I was a walking corpse but when I met you, my life has been resuscitated.
I love you Abena.” From Kwadwo Boateng (He is almost done with his PhD)